No, really, Hajime is just... knocking on Gundam's door. Maybe he's not here? But he figured he might as well check. He's hiding something behind his back, which definitely isn't suspicious at all.]
[It takes Gundam a moment to open the door-- as he was not expecting visitors. Actually in the entire month he's been here he hasn't had a single visitor.
Which of course was fine! He is a being who only desires silence and callousness--]
I was tending to the bindings of my wicked arm. The curses from my Devas upon my flesh have sealed now, it is safe to enter my realm.
[Gundam gestures Hinata in with a freshly bandaged arm. His hamsters have been getting more than a little rowdy these days and fighting more often as a result.]
[Even as he steps inside, Hajime can't help but look on with concern. Shit, he'd assumed the bandages were just part of his chuunibyou ImageTM, not something he actually needed.]
[He was about to call them hamsters again, but decides to just trail off, taking a moment to look around Gundam's room now that he's in here. It seems kind of strange that Gundam was just in his room, and he hasn't taken a look around here?? Rude tbh. Not protag-like at all.]
Maybe this will help? I found it in the mess hall with some other things, and I thought if anyone could use it...
[He did come here for a reason, though, bringing his hand around from behind his back to hold out a basic hamster wheel. It's a present. Give him an FTE!!]
[Gundam doesn't have really... any experience when it comes to deliberately trying to befriend someone -- except Hajime actively trying to befriend him.
He'd completely forgotten about his habit of presenting gifts. Like tiny trojan horses! Passing through the most secure barriers to unleash his friendship upon the most adverse and unsuspecting!
[That sure is lucky that it's a good hamster wheel, because Hajime wouldn't know what size to get them. Obviously the bigger the wheel, the bigger the fun??
Hajime can't help but grin, a little pleased at the compliment even as he shakes his head.]
I wouldn't go that far... like I said, I just found it. Is it okay to go closer to them to watch?
[He kind of wants to sit on the floor and play with the hamsters, now that he's here. He's... trying to reach out. It still feels kind of awkward, since, well, Gundam is still SHSL Talented, but after those long, sleepless days, when Gundam hadn't seen fit to toss him aside, he kind of feels like he owes the guy a chance.
Or, well, feels like he owes it to himself not to blow this chance.]
[He'd start Hajime out small anyways. His magic level is still capped at a trashy five.
Regardless of the mysterious circumstances of the hamster wheel's arrival in the station, Gundam's still pleased that Hajime thought to present it as an offering to him and the Dark Devas.
Gundam can't recall receiving many gifts in his life... at least not until recently. A small sacrifice from an odd vending machine was capable of so much in the hands of the Singularity.]
[He will join Gundam on the floor, though he still doesn't know how he feels about being described as a "minion"... on the same level as hamsters, nonetheless!! Then again, Gundam clearly loves these little hairballs, so maybe it's meant as a compliment.]
How did you know about...? Oh, it's... something we talked about before? My elementary school class?
[How the hell did that come up?! But more importantly,] What's Jabberwock Island, like, a nature preserve?
Though you were frightened by my overwhelming power, you fought through your fear to courageously approach me. I'm sure every fiber of your being insisted you turn back, but you pressed forward.
There I was... being challenged by a mortal being? Though I could smite you down in an instant I decided to honor your courage and grace you with my name!
You came without armor or a weapon -- then I learn you had not even mastered the care of a familiar! I could only be amused! To think that a being with such a low magic essence would dare to approach me and my Four Dark Devas of Destruction!
It was laughable! Perhaps the most entertainment I'd had in over a thousand years! A most memorable and enjoyable day!
Hm. [Gundam's face hardens. It's a sharp contrast to the smile that had been on his while recounting his... incredibly embellished retelling of meeting Hajime.]
...It is a hell on earth, disguised as a mortal's paradise.
Let's just move right along, huh? He offers a hand for one of the hamsters -- which one is which again?! -- to sniff, as if it's a dog. He doesn't... really know how to approach hamsters, after all.]
[Cham-P can sense Hajime's hesitation, but he's already very familiar with him. He's about to go up to Hajime and rub against his hand as an invitation to pet him -- but Gundam signals for him to wait.]
First you must clear your mind of all insidious thoughts. Then gently say the incantation...
It's-- [Gundam frowns. This Hajime had yet to experience the horrors of Jabberwock Island. Maybe it's even possible that he never would in his timeline. Gundam's the only being here who had to endure it. Perhaps it's simply better not to speak of it...]
Inconsequential.
...
Kekeke... I am a being forged from brimstone and the depths of darkness of the netherworld itself.
What interest would I have in any form of "paradise?"
[He tries to exchange an incredulous glance with Cham-P, realizes that he's trying to exchange an incredulous glance with a hamster of all things, and has to question several things that led him to this point in his life. Anyway, he can't help but feel a little self-conscious as he repeats the incantation, holding his hand out again.
...Wait, hang on, something seems contradictory.]
I... thought you said it was a hell on earth, not a paradise at all.
It was to be our first day as classmates at Hope's Peak. However, when the fated last member of our sixteen member coven traversed through the threshold-- calamity befell us all. A most un-cute anthropomorphic being had ensnared us in it's trap. The very fabric of time and space was torn asunder, the classroom shifting to an island before our very eyes.
[Invading Black Dragon Cham-P... that's a lot of title to remember for one little hamster.
But hold on, now he's... even more lost. No matter how he tries to translate that to normal people words, they just... don't make any sense. Because the whole situation was nonsensical, not because of anything Gundam said, for once.]
[Okay, let's just... try to piece it together from what Gundam's already said. Maybe there's a hint here? Hang on, he's mounting a mental snowboard.]
W-Wait, hang on. You're... trying to say it was our first day at Hope's Peak, right? But... there's no way I would have been there. Not to mention I spoke with Nanami after we'd both enrolled in our respective courses.
I remember it most clearly as you were the fated last student to enter. I recall thinking to myself that such an entrance would have been more suited for myself, but one can not change the past -- only learn from it!
A main character arrives when he intends too!
Before that moment I had never met any of you. It was most assuredly the start of the school year for us all.
[He brings a hand to his lips, pensive. Sorry, Cham-P, he needs to concentrate and try to work his way through this.]
So... what you said before, about how I regained my locked memories or something... you were talking about our time at Hope's Peak together? Or-- what you thought was our time together?
... [Evading all the references to murder gets more complicated after this point.]
After some... introductions. We were informed that what we remembered was a farce. The memories of our time together had been taken from us and were being held above our heads like a carrot on a stick for...
...reasons most nefarious in nature.
Some were tempted by this illustrious sinful fruit borne of the tree of knowledge-- but their efforts were in vain and ended in most heart-aching failure.
As time passed the references to the missing memories became more prominent.
You yourself have confirmed at least one event that was alluded to as an unholy reality. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu. The cruel fate of his most beloved sibling. Mahiru Koizumi. The unresolved fate of her most beloved friend.
Just enough information was revealed to deliberately incite malcontent to make us turn upon one another. Rendering tragedy on themselves and all caught between them.
[I can't help but feel like he's leaving something out...
But then again, there's a lot to unpack there all on its on. Hajime hums again, uncertainly, without lowering his hand from his lips.]
So... let me try to put this all together. You're saying on your first day of school at Hope's Peak, you were all... taken to Jabberwock Island? Except it couldn't have really been your first day, since I know Nanami and Koizumi and Kuzuryu were at Hope's Peak when I was. Which... makes sort-of sense, since you guys lost your memories of your time at school. That's... why you didn't know I wasn't actually your classmate.
[Did I lie to them about having a talent and being part of their class...? Or did the Project succeed?]
And it was all in an attempt to get you guys to fight amongst yourselves?
[That's so hard to believe, considering that SHSLs are mankind's hope. Who would want this.]
[Gundam doesn't really want to talk about their alternative goal of collecting "hope shards" and forging bonds together as classmates in the face of adversity.
[It sounds like nonsense, but... I don't think he's lying. He's leaving something out, but... I think he's telling the truth.
Hajime lowers his hand, absently offers a finger to-- which hamster was this again? He's forgotten. But he still offers a finger and a mumbled,] Good boy...
U-Um... I see. Maybe... it was a test? Run by Hope's Peak to study your talents or something.
[Gundam's mind wanders for a moment. As far as he knew his remaining classmates were still wasting away in that fun house. If time continued forwards in his absence, they all must have perished from starvation by now... unless someone had committed murder.]
...
Such a desire sounds foolish. They may have given me the Earthly title,but I still remain the Supreme Overlord of Ice.
No mortal being could ever dare rival my superior power.
[Was everyone in the fun house dead by now? ... had the Hajime of his timeline broken their contract and perished in this absence?]
[Cham-P can sense the heavy atmosphere between them.
Gundam absentmindedly moves to rub Cham-P as well, not expecting the hamster to squish down out of reach and let Hajime and Gundam's fingers touch instead.]
[Hey what's up it's Gundam's room. Hajime brought Li to hang out with the hamsters and try to learn a little more about hamster care. Now that they're not actively dying, it... seems like a good idea to try to deepen his bond with the only other person who even knows what Hope's Peak is and would be able to maybe explain something to his family when -- if? -- they return home.
...Not to mention if something happens to Gundam, Hajime wants to be able to care for the little hamsters. Raising Iron Li doesn't really qualify as experience.
It's just a relatively peaceful moment between two boys. What could possibly go wrong here.]
[With enough time and enough room for well meaning and well intended congratulatory wishes over their survival of the worst flu to have ever existed in the entire course of virology, Ryuji finds himself needing a few moments to let out some steam. His body wasn't 100% yet, and he was hesitant to start training again, and honestly, he was still a little scared about his arm to start lifting weights, so he headed to the chapel with his otamatone in hand to try out the acoustics of the place. He wanted to learn how to play the theme song to Ponyo, for [undisclosed reasons], when he happened upon a smart phone... of sorts? laying around.
And being the curious monkey he was, of course he turned it on, booted it up, and tried to figure out who it belonged to. At least he could return it to its rightful owner, or something like that and---
Yeah, he might've wanted to see what text messages were in there? Don't look at him like that.
What he does find, though, is pretty goddamn terrifying, and it's with gusto that Ryuji first knocks on Hajime's door to see if he's there and get him to Explain what the fuck he just found... since his and Gundam's class picture were both in there, and, oh... some other pictures with the words DEAD scribbled over some faces and some space invaders bitch looking bear enticing students to kill. No answer at his door, he tries for Gundam's, knocking with increasing intensity.]
[Gundam was also encouraged to take it easy himself and was happy to prattle on endlessly about the cornerstones of happy and healthy hamsters to Hajime.]
Plenty of exercise, high quality food, and a place to sleep. Using my body as a bed for my Four Dark Devas of Destruction shows the depth of the power of the Tanaka Empire--
[Obviously it's Erika, come to retrieve Li. The catball is currently having a grand time scooting around amongst Gundam's sheets, rolling about and making a general mess of them. Hajime... doesn't know why Erika might be stopping by, but he's kind of glad she is? He doesn't quite get her and Gundam's... thing, but at least they have their love of Li in common.
He doesn't bother to stand up from his cross-legged spot on the floor; he has a hamster perched on his shoulder, and he doesn't want to risk dislodging it.]
Can't you just answer the door normally...? [he mumbles incredulously to himself, shaking his head.]
[It's definitely not Erika, that much is for sure, but the rapping continues as it gets louder, until his fists are red. He hears voices from the other side, and-]
[Hajime's incredulous protests fall on deaf ears, and he can't help but bring a hand to his temple as if to ward off an incoming headache with a sigh. Now there'll be... two loud guys in one room, huh.
That's some pretty insistent knocking, though. In spite of himself, Hajime can't help but be a little concerned as he leans forward enough to look around Gundam and try to catch a glimpse of what's got Ryuji so bothered.]
[Gundam answers the door with some spoken word antics to highlight the entire "Gundam Experience", and Ryuji has to narrow his eyes at this. Seriously? Doesn't he know that he has, in his hands, a practical fucking Death Notebook?
And he sees Hajime in the room, thank god, because really, when you see someone's school handbook and a bunch of their classmates are dead, you kind of get the sense that the owner of that handbook might be a murderer.
Even if that truth bullet might be a blank.]
Oh, shit!!!!
[He is making a combat pose at the entrance and Ryuji will just... summon his mask right onto his face.
[Seeing as how he is a descendant of a devil and does not take leisurely strolls through the chapel -- no he does not know that Ryuji.
He does know that Ryuji abruptly summoning a mask out of thin air is definitely an impressive aesthetic! ... but even he can sense that Ryuji didn't show him that for purely aesthetic reasons.]
You dare to try ambushing me in my own realm?
[It would be problematic if Hajime got caught in the crossfire of Gundam kicking Ryuji's ass...]
Stand back! Or after seeing the true terror I can render, it'll be quite a sight to see how long your sanity lasts.
[Hajime scrambles to his feet, because Ryuji pulling his mask out of nowhere means this is actually serious business, and not just him playing around with Gundam for some unknown reason.]
O-Oi, both of you, calm down!!
[He's not quite getting in between both of them, but he is coming up behind Gundam with both hands extended outward, all but patting the air.]
[He'd like to think that he got a better control over his temper through his time as a Phantom Thief, but the anger is so clearly written into him, from the way his free fist balls, to the tenacity he has within him right now, enough to stand up to anything, no matter the size of the opponent.]
Hajime!
[Gaze fixated on Gundam in case he pulls anything quick, he steps forward, the handbook clenched tightly in his hand.]
You wanna explain this, Gundam!?
[And raises up the item he's found in the chapel.]
[Hajime does step forward this time, though he doesn't take the handbook; instead he just grabs Ryuji's wrist, trying to get him to lower his hand. Or at least not try to punch the ham-man in the face with it.
That's about all he's got, though, because it can't just be a student handbook if Ryuji's this worked up about it.]
[--- and is stopped in mid sentence by Hajime's hand clasping around his, his persona forming behind him but only in mid place, not even enough to make the actual visage of Seiten-Taisei, but rather, wisps of a blue color that dances in brilliance and fizzles out.
Effectively stopped, he looks at Hajime, and then Gundam. His instincts are to take Hajime and pull him away from Gundam, but the more he looks at that grasp to get a control of his anger, the more confused he is by it.]
What're you---
That shit has a bunch of high schoolers marked off for dead on it, and this weird lookin' bear thingy writin' out rules for murders and trials. What the hell is goin' on, here!?
If you foolishly stick your head where it doesn't belong, you shall not live long enough to regret it.
[Gundam's hamsters had been watching the entire exchange, waiting for Gundam to command them to strike if he willed it.
Gundam eyes the wisps of color that form behind Ryuji and then disappear with Hajime's interference and sees his opportunity.]
Skyline Lamentation Art of the Demon Mouse!
[San-D lunges through the air, making a grab for the E-Handbook and knock it out of Ryuji's grip! It's too big to carry by herself but the other three Devas are positioned on the ground to run off with it if she's successful in her attempt.]
[Hajime's mouth is open, ready to refute with a no, what're YOU doing?! but Ryuji continues to speak, and suddenly, Hajime's heart rises into his throat and his grip loosens around Ryuji's wrist.
He's still wearing the mask, Hajime notes absently, even as the wispy bits of (Persona? That's his Persona, right?) fizzle out. But he doesn't need to see most of Ryuji's face to understand what he's saying. A list of dead high schoolers? Murder trials?]
W-What...? --Gyah!!
[And suddenly there's hams at work. God damn it, you chuuni ass.]
[If an attack has a name that's longer to say than the actual attack, it definitely needs some rethinking in terms of practicality, but, sure- he's thrown off guard enough by all this bullshit as an adorable little hamster darts for his hand and just knocks the handbook straight out and onto the floor.
He doesn't know how durable this thing is, but he assumes that Gundam is just trying to destroy the evidence, which... okay, dude, you're a seriously bad serial killer.]
This is effin' ridiculous.
[Taking back his wrist to wipe across his face and conceal his mask, he looks at the floor. Still kind of pissed, he accepts that maybe there's some sort of explanation behind it?]
[Hajime doesn't resist Ryuji taking his hand back; his own hand finds the knot of his tie, gripping it like some kind of lifeline. Murder trials? Dead high schoolers?
In spite of himself, he can't help but immediately think of Natsumi and Satou, but he roughly shakes his head to try to dismiss those thoughts.]
If you ain't gonna say anything, I'm gonna assume the worst and get back to punchin'.
[Maybe it wasn't supposed to happen this way, but he's been around enough cagey assholes in his life to know when something is intentionally being avoided. And he's aggressively protective of the things that matter to him.
What's really fucking him up is how Gundam was slowly coming into the peripheral of that circle of people, too.
[Gundam crosses his arms over his chest, with a laugh.]
Kekeke...
I was simply at a loss for words. It has been a while since I have been confronted by such a combination of stupidity and arrogance. To think that trash like yourself has any place demanding explanations from one as grand as the Supreme Overlord of Ice?
If you wish to challenge me, then I accept. I have not yet begun to show you how serious I can be.
[Even Hajime looks surprised at how sharp his voice comes out as he lowers his hand from his tie, using it as a physical barrier to preemptively block Ryuji from just trying to lunge at him.]
You said we're classmates, right? Tell me what's going on. Ryuji wouldn't come charging in here like this for no reason, just-- tell me.
[Which, honestly, is a pretty smart move from Hajime, considering that was exactly what Ryuji was just ready to do a second ago. He's probably too easy to read, and yeah, he's pretty surprised by the sternness in his voice.
Actually? It sounds nice on him.]
Seriously!?
[Trash.
That word is one that really stings, even if Gundam doesn't know how deeply he hates it. He's heard it enough times that he should be immune to it, but some old wounds never really heal the right way.
Everyone and their mother (and his own mother) had tried to get him to stop acting fist-first through, and he wants to, so badly, just push Hajime aside and throw himself right at Gundam, but why would he be hiding something? Something that's so important to him that he wouldn't...
[Gundam digs his nails into his arm, a clenching sensation squeezing in his chest at the sternness in Hajime's voice.
It's true. Someone as seemingly carefree and friendly as Ryuji wouldn't have marched in here for no reason wanting to fight with him. He saw the contents of that handbook and assumed the worst of him.
The feeling tightens around his heart again.]
...
[It's a characterization befitting of a cursed being.]
You've finally come to understand my unavoidable malicious aura Ryuji Sakamoto! You've seen it clearly... and you are right to be terrified for all who approach me.
I am the forbiden ruler who makes even the god of darkness flee in terror! Perhaps it would be wise for you to escape now with your beloved compatriot.
As a reward for your amusing show of bravado earlier... I'll even give you a ten second head start.
[Hajime's open palm presses back more firmly into Ryuji's chest as he answers, his arm stretched out straight between the two boys. He knows full well that Ryuji won't back down, and Hajime isn't leaving without answers.
Li peeks out from beneath Gundam's rumpled covers, letting out a questioning, purring mrrrrow? and then a bark. Hey friends, she's here too!!
Hajime keeps his hand between Ryuji and Gundam, without breaking eye contact with the animal breeder. His heart is pounding obtrusively loudly in his chest as he shakes his head.]
Tanaka, show me the handbook. This has to do with... with Jabberwock Island, doesn't it?
[If there ever was a look that could capture "please let me kick his ass, Hajime," that's the one Ryuji is sporting on his features right now, because he absolutely believes Gundam deserves it at the moment. But Hajime is the one speaking, and Ryuji keeps the ball in his court, leashed up and caged behind the smallest nod for approval to go ahead and do it.
This is a fucking mess, that's for sure- and a huge misunderstanding, probably, but there's no sign that he's gotten the inkling he's wrong here, and Gundam keeps provoking him more--- Ryuji just doesn't know if he's more pissed off about that, than the obvious... whatever it is he's trying to keep under wraps.
But, also, if the time difference in their home world is actually a thing, he's conflicted here. He's close enough to someone who can control time itself to know not to fuck with major spoilers in the sequence of events, since it has the potential to alter them... is that a thing? Which is more important, though? Confirming Gundam's not a killer and keeping Hajime safe right now, or potentially messing something up down the road otherwise?
Fuck it, the only thing that matters is right now.]
Why are there pictures of DEAD STUDENTS in there!?
[Gundam wishes that Hajime would just let Ryuji attempt to punch him. A battle might make Ryuji shut up for once-- although that's a stretch. If he wants to play a hapless hero, Gundam will assume his birth rite and be his villain!
It's only when Li mewls and barks behind him, that he realizes that this might not be an ideal scenario to unleash his forbidden powers on everyone present in this room.]
...
2/3 this is way harder than doing russian roulete with one bullet
[Gundam's mind reels trying to figure out a way around this, before Ryuji can mindlessly shout out anything else to complicate the situation.
He could just give Hajime the handbook as requested. However, he knows that Hajime has met some of their classmates in his timeline. Showing him a dead portrait of someone he can or might recall is not a viable option. Plus it would do nothing to tilt the situation in his favor.
Although the pixel renderings of the students did not denote deaths. If he merely flipped to a living student's profile, it would allow Hajime to see the original number of students that were trapped on the island to start.
Combined with the rules Ryuji had read about the "killing games" and the "class trials" one could figure out that the conclusion Ryuji implied was not possible.
Hypothetically Gundam couldn't have single-handedly murdered more than two students on his own. If he'd been caught his name would be listed with the dead. If he'd gotten away with it he would be the only one not dead.
...Of course this doesn't clear him entirely because they could simply assume he was pulled from a timeline before the conclusion of a trial--!!]
The answers to human's questions are always so simple...
[Gundam pulls up the Rules, keeping the handbook in his grip as he shows it to Hajime. There's twelve all together and they outline the life Gundam and his classmates have been living while trapped on Jabberwock Island.]
[Well, no shit, Gundam- that's a very obvious thing, so Ryuji will counter that with an equally obvious thing that places the suspicion right onto him.]
And you're still alive according to this thing. People die if they're killed! What the hell is this, some sorta killing game!?
[Ryuji's voice is kind of just ringing in his ears as he reaches out, though it seems Gundam won't just give him the handbook. It's... not going to stop him from scrolling down, brow furrowing as he reads through the rules. "Extreme violence is prohibited on this island," right, okay, it must be referring to the Jabberwock Island Gundam had mentioned before. "Hope Fragments"...? He has no idea what that means.
It's the following rules, the ones next to the little bouncing bear sprite, that make it hard to hear anything going on around him. His hand lowers from Ryuji's chest, less out of conscious effort and more just from not really being aware of what's going on around him.]
A class trial... execute the blackened?
[He sounds like he's talking to himself, not the other two boys.]
If the blackened gets away, the others... will be executed?!
[Hajime looks up then, eyes wide as he looks to Ryuji first for some kind of reassurance, then to Gundam just as quickly for some kind of refutation. This... this can't be real, right?]
[Yeah, he's pretty dumb, all petty and destructive thoughts accounted for in this giant fuckass of a mess that he's charged right into. Hajime lowers his hand, and Ryuji still has it in him to haul off and start a chargin', but he's concerned with how touched Hajime seems to be about this entire thing.]
Uh, no, I mean.
[You're asking Ryuji Sakamoto if, given the opportunity between completely misreading a room and getting hot-headed versus taking the time to sort stuff out... that he won't go for guns blazing route?
Well, Gundam... Don't know what to tell you here.]
Look, somethin' is goin' on here, for real, can you at least... I dunno, promise me or just say something to the effect that you're not a killer? This shit is fishy as all hell, s'what I'm sayin'.
[Hajime's not even looking at either of them, he's just staring down at the handbook. He can be incredibly dumb like... 80% of the time. But when it's important, when he can focus, he's observant. It takes him a bit to try to put pieces together, it's true, but he's from the kind of game where those kinds of time limits are okay.
He shifts his grip, trying to actually take the handbook. There must be evidence in it that proves that Gundam's not a killer, right? There has to be.]
I won't believe... someone like Tanaka can be a murderer.
Though! I assume despite your denials, Hajime Hinata! You require something more substantial than the mere words of the world's most terrifying calamity, Gundam Tanaka!
[He sees your hand and he really doesn't want to hand over this hand book to him.]
The mask fades away into particles of weird blue distortion, and that's that. If Gundam says he didn't kill anyone, he might as well believe him. He takes people for their word; it's once you break that to Ryuji that he will never forget that.]
Alright.
[That didn't really fill in the gaps of all the other absolutely fucking batshit stuff that looked like it was going on back wherever Hajime and Gundam had come from. He thinks back to all the talks he had with Hajime, too, about what it would be like to go home.
If that's the home he has to go back to ...]
The only calamity I'm seein' here is how you ain't lettin' him see that book. Might as well just give up the ghost, dude.
[Hajime glances to Ryuji, surprised at how quickly he accepts what Gundam's saying. But... he really shouldn't be, he realizes almost as quickly. Ryuji is just the kind of guy who's so willing to believe in other people that even something like this...
He still wants the evidence to prove it. It's in his hand, he's sure of it, and he doesn't let go of the handbook.]
If... if this has a list of students in it... the people you're saying thought I was their classmate... I want to see it, Tanaka.
[Well... he didn't really come from a world where that was actually a luxury he could afford either. There were a lot of corrupt people whose sins had turned them into monsters that hid under sheep's skin in their own society. Ryuji and his friends, then, only ever worked to alleviate those corruptions.
And also? If this were a murder game, he'd probably wipe the floor with his persona. He loved his inner demon monkey king.
He'll stay quiet as Gundam hands over the book. He's curious to know what's going on, but it's not his story to tell.]
[Would Persona fall under the "excessive violence" clause?? Who knows.
Hajime takes the handbook, hefting it in his hands. He's never seen anything quite like it; sure, it seems like a normal smartphone or tablet, but there's something weird about that little dancing bear. Like a malice deeper than any he's ever felt before.
He shakes his head, tabs over to the Report Card, and-- selects his own pixelated portrait after a deep breath to steel himself. ...Well, he doesn't look dead, though what's with the only things listed on his profile being mochi? Not to mention--]
Super High School Level...
[Super High School Level What though? It's all just question marks, even in Gundam's handbook. Beep, beep, he taps on Gundam's portrait. Nothing surprising there. Then Chiaki's, again with the same kind of trepidation from looking at his own. Again, nothing surprising. It's... nice, seeing her face again, his own expression softening.
The next one he clicks on is Mahiru Koizumi, and he flinches, a whole-body shudder at the greyed-out portrait labeled DEAD. Though he doesn't recognize most of the faces, the more he taps on, the more dead students he sees. He feels faint, like he might throw up. But--]
There's... it's evidence that he's not a killer, isn't it? There's just-- too many people. I...
[He clutches his tie with a hand, looking to Gundam again more pleadingly.]
What happened? Why... this is what you meant about people turning on each other, isn't it?
[Souda keeps suggesting Super High School Level Traitor. This is probably because Souda is an idiot-- and it has nothing to do with his tragic backstory that Gundam doesn't know anything about because he also won't give Gundam any of his goddamn hope shards.]
Be assured you are alive and shall remain that way, Hajime Hinata. You don't have my permission to perish and you will remain safe under my vigilant watch.
That's... that's Koizumi. Satou's friend in the Main Course. And this guy... this has to be her brother. Kuzuryu, the Super High School Level Yakuza.
[This is all good and normal. Apparently their(??) classmate is a yakuza heir, that's fine. Don't worry about it, Ryuji.]
Did... he couldn't have killed her, right? I-I mean... there's the rule. About... about a blackened getting away.
[Vaguely, he's aware that uhhh the door is still open. Let's just-- head inside, kids, Hajime stumbling a little as he makes his way over to sit heavily on the floor. Li rolls off the bed with a chirping meow and promptly buries herself in his lap. She's too big to really fit in his lap these days, but it doesn't stop her from trying.]
How come the police didn't get involved...? I mean, you guys are all talented students. They'd know you were missing.
[Ryuji is chill over here, but when Hajime looks to move so that there's some privacy to their discussion, he has a moment where he looks over at his friend for a cue- like, he knows this is kind of something personal, and he doesn't want to really be there if it makes either of them uncomfortable.
But it's not like the door closes in front of him or anything, so he'll join in, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.]
The police are useless, dude.
[Speaking very much from personal experience here. He was there when Ren came back from interrogation, saw all the bruises and marks all over his face and arms.
The police didn't save the world from anyone. They were absolutely, positively, fucking useless.]
[Gundam doesn't seem to mind if Ryuji stays. If he's going to be loyal to the singularity, he can be privy to what shall come to pass in his future.
Besides. He's right.]
It was the failure of the police to begin with that allowed Monokuma to provide such a successful motivation.
While the memory of this event was never restored to any of us in full, there were enough hints made available for those who deliberately sought them out. They drew their own conclusions as to what had transpired.
Conflict occurred as Monokuma desired and in a heated moment, Koizumi was felled. Not by his own hand, but by one so devoted to him she would sacrifice us all and herself if it meant he could somehow escape.
...He is an barely ursine monstrosity who preys upon their fragility and drives them to unforgivable acts.
Perhaps they are looking for them... but what could they do to reveal our locality to them? There is no way to escape. No way to communicate. They are stranded, clinging desperately to the last vestiges of hope in the face of despair.
[And if they looked for them right now and managed to find Jabberwock Island -- there is no escaping that funhouse.]
[The police are useless, it's true. They didn't investigate Natsumi's murder beyond a cursory glance. But these are people with talent. The police should be trying to find them! How could an entire class just vanish?!]
Your whole class is trapped there...
[And somehow, someone like me got mixed up in this, too. In the future... after the Project.
His fists clench at his thighs, and he just looks down at the fluffy ball of digicat curled up in his lap. A whole class full of talented students, being forced to kill each other. He can't fathom it. He wants to tell Gundam to give up the joke, but there's just no way he'd joke about this.]
Why... didn't you tell me about this before, Tanaka?
[He looks between the two, still not getting the full picture of exactly what was going on, and that's... that's fine, really, he guesses it'll be explained in full, but he does pick up on small ticks between Hajime and Gundam. He might be rather dumb at figuring puzzles and scholastic types of things, but he's definitely decent at picking up on people, and he can tell that Gundam cares deeply about Hajime.
He understands completely the willful amount of energy it takes to protect someone you care about, and he's getting that this isn't a joke. How can he think that? Weirder shit's happened. He walked to school one day with Joker and the next thing he knew, he was in a castle with all sorts of armored guards trying to kill them.]
I think he cares about you, dude.
And like... whatever happened there would've hurt you to know. So he didn't wanna say anything. I mean, look at 'em. He's practically straining at something you just said.
[Hajime looks to Ryuji and shakes his head before shifting his gaze to Gundam. It doesn't make sense, it's crazy to think about, but it's not...
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head again.]
No, that... that's not what I meant. I meant... how could you keep something like this to yourself? You have to be worried about them, right?
[Gundam can natter on all he wants about being a dark lord and having no friends, etc, etc, but Hajime just can't buy it. He's a weirdo, but he's a weirdo with a kind heart and obvious love for animals. Surely Hajime wasn't his only friend in this weird, messed-up situation?]
I guess what I'm trying to say is... are you okay? Keeping secrets about yourself... isn't easy.
[He manages not to look at Ryuji for that bit. Ryuji is. Bad. at keeping secrets about himself, to say the least. But he's not gonna call him out directly.]
[Gundam can't bring himself to say it as bluntly as Ryuji is able to, but it's hard to hide the tinge of pink that crawls into his cheeks at the accusation.
[Gundam's not one to talk about himself-- not honestly. The veil of obfuscation he hid himself behind was deliberately crafted.]
...
[To be asked if he's worried about someone else? To be asked if he's okay? -- For such a long time such questions would be laughable in their absurdity... Gundam Tanaka was beloved by no earthly beings and no earthly beings were beloved by Gundam Tanaka!
But. For all the difficulties he'd had relating to those on the island... he hadn't wanted them to kill or to die. For all his incompatibilities with humans Hajime had still befriended him. Even more unexpectedly someone like Sonia sought out his company.
When he left they'd all been resigned to their fate. Waiting to die. Giving up.]
...
...
...
[It's hard to find the words that sufficiently obscure such thoughts or such feelings without being insulting to those he left behind.]
[The silence is killing him, even though he knows the cogs are spinning in Gundam's brain. And it's not fair, to either Gundam or Hinata for him to be the one to push this sort of thing out of him. But he's a persona user, he's used to a team that has reached some sense of self-actualization, and even if they're still mostly spotty at it, they've always had someone to ignite each other to try and open up, or at least be strong enough to say what's on their minds regardless of whether or not it hurt them to do it.
And look, Ryuji's still struggling with that himself, in a lot of ways, but it's not healthy to keep all that in. Gundam's not some dark being that's excluded from being a part of the basic tenants of friendship or learning how to cope with stuff like people eventually learn how to do.
He scratches the back of his head.]
Dude, it ain't easy to rip off your own mask, uh, trust me on that one. But... we've only got each other here, right?
'Cause if you're gonna try and go it alone, you're gonna break. There's no way around it. Shit, Hajime was turnin' invisible this month and my I lost an arm. I dunno if I coulda even made it half as long as I did if it weren't for people to kick my as--- butt around.
And I think about all the people back home, too. If they're happy or not, or what happened to them. You gotta keep yourself living in the present. You owe it to yourself. Or, I guess... their memory.
[Man, he kind of does suck at motivational speeches compared to some other people Hajime's met. But there's something about Ryuji's frank honesty that fills Gundam's silence that keeps Hajime from interrupting. His lips firm into a line, and he nods.]
I agree with that.
[It's not the loud, almost accusatory words of consent that Gundam's heart from Hajime during class trials, but a calmer, almost resigned statement. Ryuji's right.]
I... guess what I'm trying to say is that you can rely on us, okay? If you need someone to talk to about... about everything that's happened, you don't have to try to keep it a secret just to protect me.
[Hajime holds out a hand for Gundam, an offer to shake hands and make a deal, if he wants.]
So... let's be honest with each other, and depend on each other. That's what friends do, right?
[Gundam's eyes dart from Ryuji to Hajime, the pressure in his chest tightening. He bristles sharply at the uncomfortable sensation, his shoulders tensing and every hair on his body standing on end.
He'd concealed the truth to protect Hajime, of course! But... Now that he was suddenly forced into such a conversation by these two-- maybe in a way...]
[It's quite remarkable really. Who could have believed that such a sensation could continue to ensnare his heart like this even in the depths of space?
Truly, the beloved foes he left behind were his most formidable opponents...
To think that the great Gundam Tanaka could have such an overwhelming sensation of regret at having been the only one to escape. Feeling twinges of guilt gnawing at his insides whenever he noticed just how terrible replicator food was-- and forcing himself to finish it regardless. Such trifles like a mere lack of sleep or his own body corroding from the inside out-- as if any of this compared to their suffering.
[Ryuji's words are clumsy, yes. However, the intention behind them is clear.
Hajime's words are light by comparison, but in the most trying of situations they've almost always been like that. Soaring above the fighting, the deceit, the confusion-- ah.]
[Gundam eyes Hajime's outstretched hand, hearing the affirmation of their friendship!
He wants to grasp it. If only for that reason alone-- but to do so... would be so unlike him.
Despite the depth of Hajime's potential at this point such a thing-- it's just-- of all the--!! A Singularity and his concubine thinking they could make such a proposition to the Supreme Overlord, Gundam Tanaka, he who would one day rule this world!?
[It's a few hours after the Breath of Life has been blown back into Ryuji Sakamoto and here he is, back in his room, and his bed never looked so goddamned good in his entire life.
Which, now that things have been settled, he's bound to start checking in on people he cares about, so Gundam, I hope you enjoy this selfie with Ryuji's face, throwing up the V's like they don't matter, in a testament to the defiance of defy...ing... death? Sure, we're going with that.]
[It's not as if the Supreme Overlord of Ice was unfamiliar with perilous situations of life and death-- although this was perhaps... the closest he came thus far.
Things were healing and he was starting to recover-- although the foot he reattached kept him resting in his room longer than he might have preferred.
Of course that just gave him more time to think about how to reply to this understandably elated selfie of Ryuji juxtaposed next to this baffling text message.]
[Not to be out done regardless of his healing foot --!!
Gundam repeatedly dives in front of the camera function of his communicator into his bed, until he captures a stunning action shot of himself and his four hamsters flying through the air.]
So it would seem that my dark throne awaiting me in the icy depths of Cocytus shall remain empty for a few centuries longer.
[Gundam doesn't know what female dogs have to do with this situation, but all dogs are good dogs. It's probably a compliment of sorts.]
It's cool, I don't really expect a lotta people to estimate anything out of me to begin with
Speakin' as someone who's dealt with barriers before, is it spherical or just front loaded, because leaving the back exposed is great for a sneak attack.
Not that I would, I'm just sayin
Well actually what I'm tryin' to say is that if you're defending yourself, do it right, yeah?
'Cause I was actually pretty worried that you didn't make it or something
[Gundam probably should have expected another barrage of text from Ryuji after he choked him for trying to make a theatrical and timely exit once before-- but he finds himself glaring at the screen of his communicator once again.
He's annoying. He's obscenely crass. He has no appreciation of personal space. The very basis of his characterization has been to be an irritant since his inception!]
Spherical-- of course I took into consideration such an act of cowardice from an assailant.
My overwhelming power could drive even the bravest beings into a fit of pitiful desperation to dispense of me!
[It's odd to be pursued so diligently. There was of course Hajime-- but he was 'the singularity' and that was when he was on the island. Their sacred bond has not truly been re-affirmed here. That would take time.
...and then there was perhaps the Dark Queen, allured by a desire within to awaken her hidden power! ...But she isn't here.
Despite some attempts with varying levels of failure and limited success with others trapped on this craft--!!
[There's a bit of smirk on Ryuji's end when he received these replies, and he finds himself shaking his head a little bit at what's going on. If anything, Gundam truly sticks to the whole persona he's built for himself, and it's... amusing? Endearing? It's hard to really pin it as anything, honestly, but Ryuji doesn't buy into it entirely; he figures there's gotta be a normal dude behind all the gusto and edginess he uses to keep people at arm's length.]
Yeah... I kinda feel the same way. Too much shit left to do, you know?
Anyway, it must be tough bein' a single parent with 4 kids. I can only kinda guess, 'cause my mom's one too, and I know I was always puttin' her through hell just bein' myself.
I am not a parent to the Four Dark Devas of Destruction, I am their friend and their master.
I would never be capable of devouring them.
[Horrifying hamster facts aside-- Gundam and Ryuji have more in common than he'd thought. He's not as open about bearing his soul, but he can sympathize with a non-existent father and an over burdened mother.]
Of course. For a mere human you seem to have rather low deception when it comes to your skill set.
Dude, I literally didn't say a damn thing about eating them, why the hell did that just come up like it was just the most natural thing to say in the world
[He's calling the hamster police on you, what the heckie.]
But yeah. I guess lying just doesn't really suit me, y'know? There's a point to it, and I get it, but like. Usually people find out anyway, so it's just easier to tell them the brutal truth, no matter what the consequences are
Your little dudes don't look like monsters. They're more like... little assistants? Yeah, sure. That's it. Also, why'd you name them after shounen manga serials?
[PLEASE... give him someone he can talk to about Two Piece, Breach, Maruto. He's dying for intelligent anime discussion.
...]
Is bein' an anomaly a bad thing? I mean, like, if the rest of society sucks major donkey butt, it doesn't mean you gotta be like them, too.
[Hey!!! Dude is a term of endearment to Ryuji. He says it about pretty much everyone.]
So........ the sacred texts are manga.
[Hey, he's not going to complain about that. He loves comics, unapologetically.]
Y'know, you talk like a dark lord and all that shit, but like. You're just a punk like me, huh? The rest of the world's always looked at me and got the wrong kinda impression, but when you just. Like. Accept that about yourself, it's almost like it becomes your own sorta power.
Glad you admitted to bein' a giant otaku it's okay, no big deal man, we can talk about your thoughts on Ruffy later since like, I never got to find out if he escaped Frand Isle and I'm hopin' you're from the future or something
[This is so, so, so, so lame.]
Lightning
And maybe ramen, but I haven't figured out how to actually use that power yet
It's only natural to idolize the fictional beings humans see in manga and anime. These things are common place to an Overlord such as myself, I'd forgotten how remarkable they must seem.
[So neither has the obvious advantage between them then. It would be a most engaging battle between equals!]
That's not a power. Ramen is that which sates you, driving you to train to your fullest potential and obtain true strength in this world!
[You know like Maruto.]
Edited (forgot formatting -- ALSO CAN'T SPELL) 2018-08-22 15:49 (UTC)
[HE'S VERY MUCH AN EMBARRASSING HUMAN FROM EVERY ANGLE.
But that's a digression.]
Yeah man you're definitely something special I ain't ever gonna deny that
[God, he's smiling like the world's biggest dork right now.]
Listen
What about a superhero who could shoot ramen out of his fingers like Arachnidman? But the noodles were super strong and they could totally like grapple the shit out of bad guys
RaMan started out as a quality dude at a nuclear power point. Kind of loserish, didn't have a lot of friends, nerdy, kinda bookish type. Had a real good friend, a girl, out in engineering that he totally had the hots for but never knew how to move it up to the next notch, y'know what I mean? Always kinda sweet, cool sorta dude but absolutely effin' clueless at the romancin' part of wooing and all that shit. Did I mention he like really loved ramen? Cause he really loved ramen. In his spare time he used to be an extreme couponer, those sorta crazy people that walk into a 7i and walk out with 4 slurpees, three whole pizzas, a pack of smokes even though he never touched the shit, and the store owin' him money to take it off their shelves. He thought it kinda made him a super hero, right? Super savings, super saving... same sorta shit. Anyway, one day he was busy clippin' his coupons left and right at work during lunch and the plant had a total meltdown that would later be completely covered up by the shady ass government he lived under. There was some experimental gas that got spread into the air that rearranged the uh
molecules?
Yeah, those things, between himself and the bowl of ramen he was eating. Dude passes out and finds himself woken up 2 years later in a giant test tube filled with chicken broth and he thinks, what the hell, this is great, I'll just eat my way outta this shit. But the evil scientists were running tests on him, and he finds out that NEXT to him, right? Is the same girl that he had fallen for but she looks totally different, like a pure 10/10 vixen just sleepin' in a jar. So of course, he needs to save her, right? So he starts drinking that shit down, findin' it kinda weird that he can breathe underwater but whatever that's not that important, and he goes to punch the window but he's a wet noodle.
Like.
Literal levels of wet noodle here. Arms completely transformed into spindly threds of glutenous goodness. He finds out that he can stretch those noodles, so he does that. He does the thing. The test tube fills up with so much ramen that the entire thing just EXPLODES AND BOOM shatters into a million pieces, so the alarms come off. But the dude's been in a test tube for like, ever, idk did I say 2 years? Something like that, 2 years, yeah, and then the guards come in. And he's nood as shit, still that kinda nerdy guy who was ashamed of his bod, hid behind a computer. But the computer got super soaked and drenched from all the broth he had absorbed, and short circuited. Defense system goes up, machine guns appear in the corners of the walls and start blaring everywhere like PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW, but HAH! dude's made out of ramen. You shoot one part and other noodly muscles just appear outta nowhere.
Saves the girl, they escape, and he has to hide himself from the rest of society. She has no idea what happened that day, but she remembers the gentle touch of a warm human ramen against her, carrying her to safety. She falls in love with RaMan, not knowing it's really always just been the nerd the entire time. And then flash forward to a bunch of crimes and robberies all over the city. He's there, he's kicking ass, and now he's.
Dude I'm glad you liked it, that was like my magnum opus of character designs and I don't think I can top that even if I tried, like, super goddamn hard.
[NOT THAT... TYPE OF FOXY!?
Does he need to explain the birds and the bees to Gundbro? Wait, that's a bad phrase. He probably knows all about the birds and the bees and bother species' of mating habits.
Ryuji just lets him have this one. It's easier that way.]
[Sure do hope Hajime doesn't see this text one day.]
You think I should've taken a diff angle with that? I didn't know how else to give 'em powers. And to be fair, it wasn't like the tube gave 'em his ramen powers, it was the nuclear fallout that fused his body with the ramen he was eatin' during lunch.
Yeah it's like a metagorical kinda thingy, you know?
[God... help him...]
But of course that'll be covered in the sequel to the first film when it goes deep on the backstory stuff and touched again from Hokkaido Fox's perspective in the spinoff
[at some point during that fascinating conversation about the icy depths of cocks and blood brothering, another text buzzes on Gundam's watch. it's the dude from room 4.13! you know. the one directly above Gundam's?]
hey what the fuck are you doing down there like i can deal with the muffled supervillain cackling but it sounds like youre doing some sort of olympic training in there are you practicing your soccer tackles or what
[dude's just making friends left and right! he's also meeting people who saw his warning on the network about avoiding the 13th portal of the third plane of existence, heard the kekeke'ing from the depths below, and put two and two together.]
[also, Dave's username has the word god in it, which is probably the only real clue Gundam's going to get at first on his identity — because he's absolutely going to be bullshitting an answer to that question.]
space station noise and safety inspector my jobs to keep the halls down to a dull haunted roar the laughings fine it blends right in with the ghosts and the weird noises they make but trying to fight the space walls is where i draw the line im gonna have to write you a ticket
Wouldn't it be kind of me to let you know in advance... so you don't lay awake every night. Writhing in anticipation of the horrors I could unleash upon you at any moment.
[Hey if you've ever wondered if some people really laugh when they type some form of 'lol' in a text -- Gundam does.]
As I have said before, I have no intention of ensnaring myself in an eternal rivalry with an immortal being if there is no worthy cause to do so.
My time is far too valuable!
[Although Dave would probably know from Gundam's cackling schedule -- the Supreme Overlord of Ice spends a lot of time in the thirteenth portal of the third plane of existence.]
Edited (i can't remember every dumb thing gundam says accurately) 2018-08-24 02:49 (UTC)
[oh, he knows all right. and he's 100% going to point it out.]
really so youre down there concocting some evil shit like basically every time i hear you fuahahahaing which is a lot btw it better be fucking heinous to warrant that kinda rita repulsa laughter if i ever get to see it im gonna be rating it
So you wish to know how an Overlord like myself lives? Kekeke...
Perhaps I shall reveal a portion to you? I am never idle!
[Actually it's been a little difficult to figure out what to do with his time-- when he's not dying of a plague anyways.
If he were home he'd be doing animal research and updating his blog! If he were on Jabberwock Island he'd be trapped in a funhouse starving, but the Dark Queen was interested in collecting his Hope Shards.
Here? Time has seemed like a rather infinite illusion where there never was quite enough stuff one could do to fill the endless voids.
Hm.]
There is a price to be paid for this knowledge, however. Nothing in this world can be obtained without sacrifice.
humor me for a second and youve got a deal i want you to type something out no copy pasting or the usual fuckin eldritch grimdark supervillain in training antics got it you gotta actually hit your fingers to the keys here really get some more marketable music with your words going you ready
"i would like some empty toilet paper rolls im going to use them to build a real life hamster valhalla"
oh my god dont frame it like its the fuckin apple of knowledge or something you kinda already went there by referring to toilet paper as what you use to remove your shit sins
how many shit sin tubes for a minute of monologuing
Even if you were the deity of the paperboard cores once sheathed within the bindings of perforated paper who could create them at will, I would not accept them!
[He made the description even more obtuse just for you Dave.]
[DON'T DO THIS GUNDAM, RIGHT WHEN DAVE WAS STARTING TO GET INVESTED.]
what the fuck dude you cant pull back on a deal in the middle of the negotiating thats not how these agreements work we were finally gettin around to a mutual understanding here dont you want your hamster valhalla tubes dont your hamsters want tubes to crawl around and squeak in
[caterwauling!!!!!! Dave was just making sure he got his point across. ...... he was just insisting on getting his point across.]
yeah alright i can do that gonna need a little time to put this deal together though just like i dunno practice your monologuing for a while ill make sure the hamsters have plenty of tubes to crawl around in
[yeah, Dave's just gonna be toilet papering the entire fucking fourth floor in his quest to acquire enough empty tubes. have fun with that when yous top by later, Gundam!]
I-I don't have it with me. He belongs to a guy named Ezra Bridger... a friend of mine. He's in room 420, and even if the cat looks weird, you can't tell him that. But... hey.
[A pause, Hajime clearly trying to impress upon Gundam just how important this is.]
He's... it's hard to explain. He was one of the first people to wake up on this station, like me and Ryuji. Then one day he just... vanished into thin air. Literally. It was on camera and everything, I saw it happen. But... he doesn't remember anything about it. I'm kind of worried about him.
you're seriously texting me while you're there...?!
idk, just talk about your experience with animals, or ask him about other animals from his planet. this guy's literally from another galaxy, i'm sure he can tell you about all kinds of animals
[He's passing by to see what Hajime is up to when he crosses Gundam's door. There's nothing really out of the ordinary in the 3rd floor; it's far less hormonally driven and completely less tp'ed than the 4th floor. For... whatever shit sin reason that it is that way.
But he looks down and sees a premium Gundam model kid just outside the entrance. And he gets to thinking--- Gundam, Gundam? Gundam. Gundam? He'll bite. Leaning down, he picks up the kit and turns it over. This is the real deal. Over 600 parts. It's just like the one he had back in his room- the one that had taken him literal months to finish, and to this day, completely fucking haunts him that he's missing one piece off the left arm of the finished product since he was horrible at keeping all the bits together.
But he knocks on the door, just in case Gundam is the owner of this Gundam, and waits patiently.
Except, of course, when he grows more impatient and starts communicating from the other side.]
[Yeah, right. Light reading. That was definitely not going to happen, now. Ryuji turns at Gundam's approach, the model kit in his arms like he's swaddling a newborn babe, and with a bright smile on his face, he looks down at the box.]
Dude, is this yours? I found it outside your room.
[Gundam glances at the box being gently caressed in Ryuji's arms preparing to see something stupid or of no interest to him at all so he can go back to their usual squabbling.
Except his eyes have actually widened a lot and he is completely distracted from Ryuji's declaration of outrage.]
Something as truly remarkable as this was just laying out in the open?
[He's never actually seen any model toy kit like this so up close before.]
[You can't just change topics like that on Ryuji and expect his attention lacking ass to just switch gears.
Except when you can, and as much as he's not comfortable with the idea of being Gundam's slave (here goes that hard S inclination, again), the model is what he's here for, and seeing Gundam get excited about anything (is that excitement?) is kind of neat.
He holds out the box for him to give a good look over.]
It's one of those models that woulda cost a few ten-thousand yen back home, yeah? [And the colors on the box are awesome; chromes and yellows depict a particularly awesome looking mech.]
I love mech shit, it's great. [He looks at Gundam nervously, though, because it's a pretty childish thing to be really into.]
[There is a hierarchy of endearment, Ryuji. Slave being the lowest tier, but... a tier! You made it to a tier, Ryuji.
Regardless, Gundam absolutely does look excited. The fact that such a thing is childish for two teenagers to be interested in briefly crosses his mind but--]
Maybe it is because no one has ever bought me any sort of toy before, but I think this is truly a remarkable find.
[Ryuji's starting to get Gundam's jargon a little bit better the more he talks to him. Maybe it's a low rung on the echelon to greatness, but it's not that bad right now. He has no idea whether or not Gundam had a lot of opportunities to do these sort of things with other people, but, yeah... the inkling is there to think that most people would have rolled their eyes at him and given up. At least, in his own world. But Ryuji's not really like most other people.]
Yeah, I figured. Dude, I don't take this shi----shtuff. Stuff lightly.
[Models are SERIOUS BUSINESS, DUDE. They require a gentler touch. A type of attention to detail that Ryuji unfortunately just doesn't have. He holds it out to him and lets him take it if he wants to.
Fine, whatever, he'll work with the paradigm instead of trying to trash it down to the ground.]
Honestly, I had a lot of help from my mom the last time I built one. You wanna be the lead engineer on this project? You're probably a lot smarter than I am.
[Gundam eagerly takes the box, holding it up to appraise it more closely. He never thought in a thousand years he'd get to actually hold such a treasure in his hands, let alone get to assemble one.]
You've crafted one before?
Experience is nearly as valued as intellect in such an undertaking as this.
[Seeing him hold it the way he does gives a good idea that his values are in the right place, and Ryuji's faith is bolstered by his interest. This gundam is going to be Amazing. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it.]
Yeah. It took me a few weeks, though. [And he hesitates for a moment, wondering if it matters either way when he adds...] When my track coach broke my leg, I couldn't really leave the house too much, so... I got super into building the one I had. It's probably back home, collectin' dust right now.
[He smiles, though, because this one is going to be a lot better tended to.]
If you're serious, though, my room's got a pretty big kitchen table and it's not like anyone lives there anymore. You can come by whenever.
[Weeks... hm. Well. Spending time with Ryuji hasn't been the most terrible usage of his time.
He'd probably never have the time to devote to something like this at home.]
Fret not! With the Four Dark Devas and myself to aid you, this warrior of the rising sun shall be ready to take arms against all that oppose it forthwith.
[It's not polite, but Gundam can't help himself from briefly glancing down at the mention of a broken leg. For a moment he thinks he might not have heard Ryuji quite right. It seems unreasonably counter intuitive for a coach to break their athlete's leg? ...Unless it was an accident, he supposes.
Perhaps being surrounded by ultimate talent distorts one's perception of the realities of the average world but-- for something like that to happen, Gundam can't help but think he must not have been very good at coaching at all.]
[It's a long story that Ryuji will probably end up telling Gundam at some point or another. But making a Gundam during his time stuck at home was almost like the act of creating out of destruction. He was in a pretty place back then; depressed and unsure of himself to the point that all his dreams had been crushed in the span of a 5 minute encounter. And entire life of hope to actually make something out of himself, and then... nothing.
He had alienated every friend he had in school, and taken up a lonely existence. He guesses they weren't really his friends if they never stood up for him even when he went to bat for all their suffering under their shitty, abusive coach.
Which just means that every friend he made from here on out, he cherished in their own way. It's a snort of a chuckle when Gundam pops off about the rising sun and all that shit. Still doesn't buy it, but.]
I'd be honored to have the Dark Devas helping. Everything's better when you're in a team, huh?
[Overwhelming is definitely the right word. Ryuji's already moving towards the elevators. His room's up on floor four, after all. Not that Gundam would know that since the only room he's ever seen him leave was some immortal hamster god of Valhalla's.]
[Gundam would probably find it rather surreal to imagine Ryuji in such a sad and lonely frame of mind. He always seems so boundlessly optimistic and at ease around others.]
Kekeke...
Yes, I recall your speech referencing the impentrable strength of geometric shapes.
[The Pentagon of Pandemonium! -- With Ryuji's inclusion it's become a Hexagon of... Hell. Horrors. Havoc?
[Hexagon of Hell has a nice ring to it. Ryuji's impressed, to say the least. He smirks back at Gundam, for recalling that, and gives a little shrug.]
You, uh, ever wonder about that word? Impenetrable. Doesn't it have like, the same meaning as the word impregnable? But in order to impregnate you kinda have to pene---
[He's gone down a rabbit hole and he gets the idea real quick that gundam doesn't want to follow him into the abyss of this one, and ends up scratching the back of his head. He'll save that question for someone else.]
[The elevator arrives and with the press of a button, the doors close in front of them... allowing Ryuji's route of final escape to gently slip away.]
I deny the very basis of your assumption! There are multiple methods of reproduction that yield offspring without involving penetration.
A single individual can produce offspring asexually through multiple methods. While my work with aquatic beings is limited, Turbellarian flatworms are capable of fission. Creatures who can separate their bodies into head and tail regions then regenerate the missing half and create two new organisms. Coral are quite capable of reproduction through budding. The original organism experiences an outgrowth on part of it's body. The separation of this growth creates a new individual, smaller than it's prior host. If an entity is capable of fragmentation, and the parts are big enough, a separate individual will regrow from each part. Surely even you cannot be ignorant of the abilities of certain sea stars. A new creature can be regenerated from a broken arm and a piece of their central discs.
Of course these are all low-level entities. The true power of asexual reproduction lies in parthenogenesis, where eggs develop without being fertilized. Typically it's observed in invertebrates such as ants, wasps, and bees. However! Some vertebrate creatures are also capable of being able to reproduce through parthenogenesis. Two komodo dragons, a hammerhead shark, and a blacktop shark have all been documented as having produced parthenogenic young when the females have been isolated from males!
Even in sexual reproduction it is not a finite necessity to bring forth new life into this world. Hermaphrodites are entities that encompass both male and female reproductive systems within one entity. While they prefer to mate, they can also be capable of self fertilization.
External fertilization usually occurs in aquatic environments where both eggs and sperm are released into the water. After the sperm reaches the egg, fertilization takes place--[Please tell me you hit a floor button, Ryuji.]
[His finger was on the button all along, but then Gundam just starts going off on this pedantic rant about animal fucking? Is that what he's talking about? Ryuji stares at him, not really hearing what he's saying but more about how passionate he is about the things he's going on about, focusing in only when he hears things like "asexual" and "eggs" and suddenly Ryuji is just lost in his head for a few moments.
Actually.
It goes something like.
Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert And you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch, You want it rough, you're out of bounds I want you smothered, want you covered.]
[The door closes and it's just two dudes, in an elevator- one who just talked about reproductive qualities of whatever, and the other thinking about bad touch, 5 feet away from each other because they're not gay.]
Uhhh...
[He thinks about that for a second.
Is it worth it to explain? Probably not. It'll make him look weirder.]
You ever do one of those science experiments in class? The one with the toothpicks and the potatoes and you make 'em sprout? Definitely can reproduce.
That just gets a rise out of Ryuji. Growing potatoes gets you closer to god? He starts to laugh, and then it just spreads outward from there, straight through to his shoulders and his chest, and as he centers himself, he gives Gundam an arm around the shoulder gesture, careful to note that there are probably hamsters in his scarf.]
Dude, hash browns are pretty much, like, getting as close to godhood as it gets. [GOD WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, GUNDAM?]
And it's Waffle House, by the way. [Whether or not the experiment is beneath him, man he'd kill a guy for some golden browns right now.]
We got cooler experiments to run. [He points to his room. Right. They have highly important life altering things to do here.]
[Being able to grow anything with someone's own two hands implies a mastery over the art of creation itself!]
That's a rather generous description. [Anytime his mother prepared them they tended to be simultaneously drenched in grease and irrevocably burnt beyond the realm of recognition. Less hashbrowned and more hashblackened.
Gundam sees Ryuji's arm moving to wrap around him and quickly ducks to evade it. Then rolls out of the elevator, across the hall, and jumps up in front of Ryuji's door like he planned to do that the entire time.]
[It's not like Hajime to be so insistent as he knocks on Gundam's door. It's not like him to sound -- worried. Almost downright scared as he knocks again.]
[The haunting whispers of a woman tormenting him--! Speaking of pain. Of loneliness and fear. He's been up for hours mulling over the words she spoke to him, even in the safety of his room.
He hadn't accepted it. He hadn't rejected it either. When Hajime's voice permeates through the door, Gundam wonders if for a moment the voice has changed tactics.]
[His tone pitches up, almost as a question. Shouldn't... Gundam recognize his voice? Or is this just part of how this guy is deciding to greet people these days. It really is a mystery every time Gundam opens his mouth.]
[Gundam's entire body seems to relax when he realizes it more than likely really is just Hajime on the other side of the door.
Although then that brings up the question of why Hajime's voice does sound worried. Perhaps, Gundam wonders, he's not the only one here being tormented when he leaves his room.]
You must be truly desperate to seek hospitality within my realm.
[Despite that, Gundam sweeps his arm to motion Hajime in.]
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action;
No, really, Hajime is just... knocking on Gundam's door. Maybe he's not here? But he figured he might as well check. He's hiding something behind his back, which definitely isn't suspicious at all.]
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Which of course was fine! He is a being who only desires silence and callousness--]
Kekeke.... I knew you would come.
[He definitely did not.]
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[Somehow, I don't believe you.]
Uh... are you busy? Can I come in? I found something I want to show you.
[It's still out of sight behind his back. What could it be?!]
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I was tending to the bindings of my wicked arm. The curses from my Devas upon my flesh have sealed now, it is safe to enter my realm.
[Gundam gestures Hinata in with a freshly bandaged arm. His hamsters have been getting more than a little rowdy these days and fighting more often as a result.]
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[Even as he steps inside, Hajime can't help but look on with concern. Shit, he'd assumed the bandages were just part of his chuunibyou ImageTM, not something he actually needed.]
Are you okay?
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Is that so unreasonable?
Trapped here in the depths of space with no inkling of their purpose nor anything to positively stimulate them?
Of course their fear and unhappiness would eventually rear its head, lashing out to strike against even their most beloved master.
[Although. Hinata was always pretty level headed aside from occasionally blacking out when overwhelmed so perhaps he can't relate.]
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[He was about to call them hamsters again, but decides to just trail off, taking a moment to look around Gundam's room now that he's in here. It seems kind of strange that Gundam was just in his room, and he hasn't taken a look around here?? Rude tbh. Not protag-like at all.]
Maybe this will help? I found it in the mess hall with some other things, and I thought if anyone could use it...
[He did come here for a reason, though, bringing his hand around from behind his back to hold out a basic hamster wheel. It's a present. Give him an FTE!!]
1/.... imma guess 3
He'd completely forgotten about his habit of presenting gifts. Like tiny trojan horses! Passing through the most secure barriers to unleash his friendship upon the most adverse and unsuspecting!
...OF COURSE.]
2/ still guessing 3
Fuaha-- HAHAHA! Splendid!
Rise my Four Dark Devas of Destruction! You have an offering from the singularity!
3/3 HA.
Wow it's even one of the nice, safe free standing plastic ones. Not too big or small to strain their little backs.
Even with no memories formed with Gundam to recall, the Singularity has yet to truly disappoint!]
Perhaps there is hope for you as a tamer of beasts yet.
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Hajime can't help but grin, a little pleased at the compliment even as he shakes his head.]
I wouldn't go that far... like I said, I just found it. Is it okay to go closer to them to watch?
[He kind of wants to sit on the floor and play with the hamsters, now that he's here. He's... trying to reach out. It still feels kind of awkward, since, well, Gundam is still SHSL Talented, but after those long, sleepless days, when Gundam hadn't seen fit to toss him aside, he kind of feels like he owes the guy a chance.
Or, well, feels like he owes it to himself not to blow this chance.]
1/2
Regardless of the mysterious circumstances of the hamster wheel's arrival in the station, Gundam's still pleased that Hajime thought to present it as an offering to him and the Dark Devas.
Gundam can't recall receiving many gifts in his life... at least not until recently. A small sacrifice from an odd vending machine was capable of so much in the hands of the Singularity.]
2/2
[Gundam will sit on the floor first, gesturing for Hinata to join him.]
I see in your exploits here you have ascended beyond the realm of hermit crabs at least.
Despite it's perceived faults, this station seems to be superior to Jabberwock Island in more ways than one.
[The lack of wild beasts on any of the islands was truly despair inducing.
Well. That. And the murder. But.]
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[He will join Gundam on the floor, though he still doesn't know how he feels about being described as a "minion"... on the same level as hamsters, nonetheless!! Then again, Gundam clearly loves these little hairballs, so maybe it's meant as a compliment.]
How did you know about...? Oh, it's... something we talked about before? My elementary school class?
[How the hell did that come up?! But more importantly,] What's Jabberwock Island, like, a nature preserve?
[A really bad one?]
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Indeed. Our fated first meeting.
Though you were frightened by my overwhelming power, you fought through your fear to courageously approach me. I'm sure every fiber of your being insisted you turn back, but you pressed forward.
There I was... being challenged by a mortal being? Though I could smite you down in an instant I decided to honor your courage and grace you with my name!
You came without armor or a weapon -- then I learn you had not even mastered the care of a familiar! I could only be amused! To think that a being with such a low magic essence would dare to approach me and my Four Dark Devas of Destruction!
It was laughable! Perhaps the most entertainment I'd had in over a thousand years! A most memorable and enjoyable day!
2/2
...It is a hell on earth, disguised as a mortal's paradise.
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[I don't think that's how it went at all...
Let's just move right along, huh? He offers a hand for one of the hamsters -- which one is which again?! -- to sniff, as if it's a dog. He doesn't... really know how to approach hamsters, after all.]
What... makes it so bad?
1/2
First you must clear your mind of all insidious thoughts. Then gently say the incantation...
Good boy... good boy...
2/2
Inconsequential.
...
Kekeke... I am a being forged from brimstone and the depths of darkness of the netherworld itself.
What interest would I have in any form of "paradise?"
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[He tries to exchange an incredulous glance with Cham-P, realizes that he's trying to exchange an incredulous glance with a hamster of all things, and has to question several things that led him to this point in his life. Anyway, he can't help but feel a little self-conscious as he repeats the incantation, holding his hand out again.
...Wait, hang on, something seems contradictory.]
I... thought you said it was a hell on earth, not a paradise at all.
1/2
...
[So then this wasn't just something he developed out of necessity. Hajime was always this way.]
2/2
I-I.
I said it was a "hell on earth disguised as a mortal's paradise!"
An utter lack of magical beasts to master? Surrounded on all sides by the accursed ocean? The unyielding assault of UV rays?
Hah! All things designed to entertain the interests of insignificant mortal beings!
There was no reason for me to be there with the others at all! For I am a being who desires nothing more in this world than silence and solitude!
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Uh... right.
[I'm pretty sure that's wrong...]
So what were you doing there in the first place? Is that where we met?
[If Gundam thought he didn't belong, surely Hajime would have belonged even less.]
1/2
Gundam looks pleased as well.]
The fruition of a contract with the Invading Black Dragon? Kekeke... you would do well to have him at your side in battle.
2/2
It was to be our first day as classmates at Hope's Peak. However, when the fated last member of our sixteen member coven traversed through the threshold-- calamity befell us all. A most un-cute anthropomorphic being had ensnared us in it's trap. The very fabric of time and space was torn asunder, the classroom shifting to an island before our very eyes.
[This is actually what happened.]
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But hold on, now he's... even more lost. No matter how he tries to translate that to normal people words, they just... don't make any sense. Because the whole situation was nonsensical, not because of anything Gundam said, for once.]
I... sorry, can you run that by me again?
1/2
...
[That was hard to explain the first time, he doesn't even know how to reword that.]
2/2
The other mortals did not understand what was occurring either.
Be that as it may, still may it be as it may be-- there is no escape from destiny.
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[Okay, let's just... try to piece it together from what Gundam's already said. Maybe there's a hint here? Hang on, he's mounting a mental snowboard.]
W-Wait, hang on. You're... trying to say it was our first day at Hope's Peak, right? But... there's no way I would have been there. Not to mention I spoke with Nanami after we'd both enrolled in our respective courses.
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I remember it most clearly as you were the fated last student to enter. I recall thinking to myself that such an entrance would have been more suited for myself, but one can not change the past -- only learn from it!
A main character arrives when he intends too!
Before that moment I had never met any of you. It was most assuredly the start of the school year for us all.
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[He brings a hand to his lips, pensive. Sorry, Cham-P, he needs to concentrate and try to work his way through this.]
So... what you said before, about how I regained my locked memories or something... you were talking about our time at Hope's Peak together? Or-- what you thought was our time together?
1/... idefk a lot
Your current recollection of events may in fact be an accurate one... although there are things you have said that don't make sense to me.
[For one. You can't recall the Supreme Overlord of Ice at all.
Sounds fake.]
2/... maybe four
After some... introductions. We were informed that what we remembered was a farce. The memories of our time together had been taken from us and were being held above our heads like a carrot on a stick for...
...reasons most nefarious in nature.
Some were tempted by this illustrious sinful fruit borne of the tree of knowledge-- but their efforts were in vain and ended in most heart-aching failure.
3/4
You yourself have confirmed at least one event that was alluded to as an unholy reality. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu. The cruel fate of his most beloved sibling. Mahiru Koizumi. The unresolved fate of her most beloved friend.
Just enough information was revealed to deliberately incite malcontent to make us turn upon one another. Rendering tragedy on themselves and all caught between them.
4/ no i lied 5
One being among us was afforded the memories our past, thus confirming once and for all what we had suspected to be true.
5/5
...
[He's not sure how to dance around Mikan.]
...
...
...
Nothing more is to be said about that event.
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[I can't help but feel like he's leaving something out...
But then again, there's a lot to unpack there all on its on. Hajime hums again, uncertainly, without lowering his hand from his lips.]
So... let me try to put this all together. You're saying on your first day of school at Hope's Peak, you were all... taken to Jabberwock Island? Except it couldn't have really been your first day, since I know Nanami and Koizumi and Kuzuryu were at Hope's Peak when I was. Which... makes sort-of sense, since you guys lost your memories of your time at school. That's... why you didn't know I wasn't actually your classmate.
[Did I lie to them about having a talent and being part of their class...? Or did the Project succeed?]
And it was all in an attempt to get you guys to fight amongst yourselves?
[That's so hard to believe, considering that SHSLs are mankind's hope. Who would want this.]
1/2
You are my classmate.
2/2
[Gundam doesn't really want to talk about their alternative goal of collecting "hope shards" and forging bonds together as classmates in the face of adversity.
He wasn't very good at it.]
...
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Hajime lowers his hand, absently offers a finger to-- which hamster was this again? He's forgotten. But he still offers a finger and a mumbled,] Good boy...
U-Um... I see. Maybe... it was a test? Run by Hope's Peak to study your talents or something.
1/2
...
Such a desire sounds foolish. They may have given me the Earthly title,but I still remain the Supreme Overlord of Ice.
No mortal being could ever dare rival my superior power.
[Was everyone in the fun house dead by now? ... had the Hajime of his timeline broken their contract and perished in this absence?]
2/2
Gundam absentmindedly moves to rub Cham-P as well, not expecting the hamster to squish down out of reach and let Hajime and Gundam's fingers touch instead.]
ding dong bing bong
...Not to mention if something happens to Gundam, Hajime wants to be able to care for the little hamsters. Raising Iron Li doesn't really qualify as experience.
It's just a relatively peaceful moment between two boys. What could possibly go wrong here.]
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And being the curious monkey he was, of course he turned it on, booted it up, and tried to figure out who it belonged to. At least he could return it to its rightful owner, or something like that and---
Yeah, he might've wanted to see what text messages were in there? Don't look at him like that.
What he does find, though, is pretty goddamn terrifying, and it's with gusto that Ryuji first knocks on Hajime's door to see if he's there and get him to Explain what the fuck he just found... since his and Gundam's class picture were both in there, and, oh... some other pictures with the words DEAD scribbled over some faces and some space invaders bitch looking bear enticing students to kill. No answer at his door, he tries for Gundam's, knocking with increasing intensity.]
1/2
Plenty of exercise, high quality food, and a place to sleep. Using my body as a bed for my Four Dark Devas of Destruction shows the depth of the power of the Tanaka Empire--
2/2
Who did that even leave to be at his door?]
...
[He'll get up, peeking out.]
Who goes there?
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He doesn't bother to stand up from his cross-legged spot on the floor; he has a hamster perched on his shoulder, and he doesn't want to risk dislodging it.]
Can't you just answer the door normally...? [he mumbles incredulously to himself, shaking his head.]
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Open the hell up!
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One must always be vigilant when confronting entities of the unknown!
This insistent and unrelenting barrage of knocking-- [It could be insidious.] A harbinger of chaos!
Stand back! [Gundam says to. A still sitting Hajime. Quickly opening the door and striking a combative stance.]
Open sesame pandemonium!
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[Hajime's incredulous protests fall on deaf ears, and he can't help but bring a hand to his temple as if to ward off an incoming headache with a sigh. Now there'll be... two loud guys in one room, huh.
That's some pretty insistent knocking, though. In spite of himself, Hajime can't help but be a little concerned as he leans forward enough to look around Gundam and try to catch a glimpse of what's got Ryuji so bothered.]
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And he sees Hajime in the room, thank god, because really, when you see someone's school handbook and a bunch of their classmates are dead, you kind of get the sense that the owner of that handbook might be a murderer.
Even if that truth bullet might be a blank.]
Oh, shit!!!!
[He is making a combat pose at the entrance and Ryuji will just... summon his mask right onto his face.
PROTECT HAJIME AT ALL COSTS, 2019.]
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He does know that Ryuji abruptly summoning a mask out of thin air is definitely an impressive aesthetic! ... but even he can sense that Ryuji didn't show him that for purely aesthetic reasons.]
You dare to try ambushing me in my own realm?
[It would be problematic if Hajime got caught in the crossfire of Gundam kicking Ryuji's ass...]
Stand back! Or after seeing the true terror I can render, it'll be quite a sight to see how long your sanity lasts.
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[Hajime scrambles to his feet, because Ryuji pulling his mask out of nowhere means this is actually serious business, and not just him playing around with Gundam for some unknown reason.]
O-Oi, both of you, calm down!!
[He's not quite getting in between both of them, but he is coming up behind Gundam with both hands extended outward, all but patting the air.]
Ryuji, what's going on?
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Hajime!
[Gaze fixated on Gundam in case he pulls anything quick, he steps forward, the handbook clenched tightly in his hand.]
You wanna explain this, Gundam!?
[And raises up the item he's found in the chapel.]
1/2
...
2/2
Hand it over.
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[Hajime does step forward this time, though he doesn't take the handbook; instead he just grabs Ryuji's wrist, trying to get him to lower his hand. Or at least not try to punch the ham-man in the face with it.
That's about all he's got, though, because it can't just be a student handbook if Ryuji's this worked up about it.]
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MAZIO---
[--- and is stopped in mid sentence by Hajime's hand clasping around his, his persona forming behind him but only in mid place, not even enough to make the actual visage of Seiten-Taisei, but rather, wisps of a blue color that dances in brilliance and fizzles out.
Effectively stopped, he looks at Hajime, and then Gundam. His instincts are to take Hajime and pull him away from Gundam, but the more he looks at that grasp to get a control of his anger, the more confused he is by it.]
What're you---
That shit has a bunch of high schoolers marked off for dead on it, and this weird lookin' bear thingy writin' out rules for murders and trials. What the hell is goin' on, here!?
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[Gundam's hamsters had been watching the entire exchange, waiting for Gundam to command them to strike if he willed it.
Gundam eyes the wisps of color that form behind Ryuji and then disappear with Hajime's interference and sees his opportunity.]
Skyline Lamentation Art of the Demon Mouse!
[San-D lunges through the air, making a grab for the E-Handbook and knock it out of Ryuji's grip! It's too big to carry by herself but the other three Devas are positioned on the ground to run off with it if she's successful in her attempt.]
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He's still wearing the mask, Hajime notes absently, even as the wispy bits of (Persona? That's his Persona, right?) fizzle out. But he doesn't need to see most of Ryuji's face to understand what he's saying. A list of dead high schoolers? Murder trials?]
W-What...? --Gyah!!
[And suddenly there's hams at work. God damn it, you chuuni ass.]
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He doesn't know how durable this thing is, but he assumes that Gundam is just trying to destroy the evidence, which... okay, dude, you're a seriously bad serial killer.]
This is effin' ridiculous.
[Taking back his wrist to wipe across his face and conceal his mask, he looks at the floor. Still kind of pissed, he accepts that maybe there's some sort of explanation behind it?]
What the hell's goin' on. Be truthful, dude.
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The Devas immediately scoop it up and run it over to Gundam.]
...
[Gundam doesn't say anything to explain the situation.]
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In spite of himself, he can't help but immediately think of Natsumi and Satou, but he roughly shakes his head to try to dismiss those thoughts.]
Tanaka... what's going on?
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[Maybe it wasn't supposed to happen this way, but he's been around enough cagey assholes in his life to know when something is intentionally being avoided. And he's aggressively protective of the things that matter to him.
What's really fucking him up is how Gundam was slowly coming into the peripheral of that circle of people, too.
He doesn't want to distrust you, dude.]
1/2
Such a transgression would defy the promise he made Hajime to protect him.]
2/2
Kekeke...
I was simply at a loss for words. It has been a while since I have been confronted by such a combination of stupidity and arrogance. To think that trash like yourself has any place demanding explanations from one as grand as the Supreme Overlord of Ice?
If you wish to challenge me, then I accept. I have not yet begun to show you how serious I can be.
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[Even Hajime looks surprised at how sharp his voice comes out as he lowers his hand from his tie, using it as a physical barrier to preemptively block Ryuji from just trying to lunge at him.]
You said we're classmates, right? Tell me what's going on. Ryuji wouldn't come charging in here like this for no reason, just-- tell me.
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Actually? It sounds nice on him.]
Seriously!?
[Trash.
That word is one that really stings, even if Gundam doesn't know how deeply he hates it. He's heard it enough times that he should be immune to it, but some old wounds never really heal the right way.
Everyone and their mother (and his own mother) had tried to get him to stop acting fist-first through, and he wants to, so badly, just push Hajime aside and throw himself right at Gundam, but why would he be hiding something? Something that's so important to him that he wouldn't...
Oh.]
Are you two from the same time?
1/2
It's true. Someone as seemingly carefree and friendly as Ryuji wouldn't have marched in here for no reason wanting to fight with him. He saw the contents of that handbook and assumed the worst of him.
The feeling tightens around his heart again.]
...
[It's a characterization befitting of a cursed being.]
2/2
FUAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA!
Such inane questions!
You've finally come to understand my unavoidable malicious aura Ryuji Sakamoto! You've seen it clearly... and you are right to be terrified for all who approach me.
I am the forbiden ruler who makes even the god of darkness flee in terror! Perhaps it would be wise for you to escape now with your beloved compatriot.
As a reward for your amusing show of bravado earlier... I'll even give you a ten second head start.
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[Hajime's open palm presses back more firmly into Ryuji's chest as he answers, his arm stretched out straight between the two boys. He knows full well that Ryuji won't back down, and Hajime isn't leaving without answers.
Li peeks out from beneath Gundam's rumpled covers, letting out a questioning, purring mrrrrow? and then a bark. Hey friends, she's here too!!
Hajime keeps his hand between Ryuji and Gundam, without breaking eye contact with the animal breeder. His heart is pounding obtrusively loudly in his chest as he shakes his head.]
Tanaka, show me the handbook. This has to do with... with Jabberwock Island, doesn't it?
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This is a fucking mess, that's for sure- and a huge misunderstanding, probably, but there's no sign that he's gotten the inkling he's wrong here, and Gundam keeps provoking him more--- Ryuji just doesn't know if he's more pissed off about that, than the obvious... whatever it is he's trying to keep under wraps.
But, also, if the time difference in their home world is actually a thing, he's conflicted here. He's close enough to someone who can control time itself to know not to fuck with major spoilers in the sequence of events, since it has the potential to alter them... is that a thing? Which is more important, though? Confirming Gundam's not a killer and keeping Hajime safe right now, or potentially messing something up down the road otherwise?
Fuck it, the only thing that matters is right now.]
Why are there pictures of DEAD STUDENTS in there!?
1/2
It's only when Li mewls and barks behind him, that he realizes that this might not be an ideal scenario to unleash his forbidden powers on everyone present in this room.]
...
2/3 this is way harder than doing russian roulete with one bullet
He could just give Hajime the handbook as requested. However, he knows that Hajime has met some of their classmates in his timeline. Showing him a dead portrait of someone he can or might recall is not a viable option. Plus it would do nothing to tilt the situation in his favor.
Although the pixel renderings of the students did not denote deaths. If he merely flipped to a living student's profile, it would allow Hajime to see the original number of students that were trapped on the island to start.
Combined with the rules Ryuji had read about the "killing games" and the "class trials" one could figure out that the conclusion Ryuji implied was not possible.
Hypothetically Gundam couldn't have single-handedly murdered more than two students on his own. If he'd been caught his name would be listed with the dead. If he'd gotten away with it he would be the only one not dead.
...Of course this doesn't clear him entirely because they could simply assume he was pulled from a timeline before the conclusion of a trial--!!]
3/3
[Gundam pulls up the Rules, keeping the handbook in his grip as he shows it to Hajime. There's twelve all together and they outline the life Gundam and his classmates have been living while trapped on Jabberwock Island.]
They are dead.
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[Well, no shit, Gundam- that's a very obvious thing, so Ryuji will counter that with an equally obvious thing that places the suspicion right onto him.]
And you're still alive according to this thing. People die if they're killed! What the hell is this, some sorta killing game!?
[He clenches his fist.]
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[Ryuji's voice is kind of just ringing in his ears as he reaches out, though it seems Gundam won't just give him the handbook. It's... not going to stop him from scrolling down, brow furrowing as he reads through the rules. "Extreme violence is prohibited on this island," right, okay, it must be referring to the Jabberwock Island Gundam had mentioned before. "Hope Fragments"...? He has no idea what that means.
It's the following rules, the ones next to the little bouncing bear sprite, that make it hard to hear anything going on around him. His hand lowers from Ryuji's chest, less out of conscious effort and more just from not really being aware of what's going on around him.]
A class trial... execute the blackened?
[He sounds like he's talking to himself, not the other two boys.]
If the blackened gets away, the others... will be executed?!
[Hajime looks up then, eyes wide as he looks to Ryuji first for some kind of reassurance, then to Gundam just as quickly for some kind of refutation. This... this can't be real, right?]
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...Did you even read anything on this page you fiend or did you solely focus on the tab with pictures?
[Gundam eyes Hajime wearily, motioning for his Devas to work together to grab his pillow from his bed.
...He doesn't want Hajime cracking his head open.]
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Uh, no, I mean.
[You're asking Ryuji Sakamoto if, given the opportunity between completely misreading a room and getting hot-headed versus taking the time to sort stuff out... that he won't go for guns blazing route?
Well, Gundam... Don't know what to tell you here.]
Look, somethin' is goin' on here, for real, can you at least... I dunno, promise me or just say something to the effect that you're not a killer? This shit is fishy as all hell, s'what I'm sayin'.
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[Hajime's not even looking at either of them, he's just staring down at the handbook. He can be incredibly dumb like... 80% of the time. But when it's important, when he can focus, he's observant. It takes him a bit to try to put pieces together, it's true, but he's from the kind of game where those kinds of time limits are okay.
He shifts his grip, trying to actually take the handbook. There must be evidence in it that proves that Gundam's not a killer, right? There has to be.]
I won't believe... someone like Tanaka can be a murderer.
1/2
[You would die on that island ten times over.]
2/3
Even one as diabolical as myself has never forcibly sacrificed a being in pursuit of my desires.
3/3
...
Though! I assume despite your denials, Hajime Hinata! You require something more substantial than the mere words of the world's most terrifying calamity, Gundam Tanaka!
[He sees your hand and he really doesn't want to hand over this hand book to him.]
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Good enough for him.
The mask fades away into particles of weird blue distortion, and that's that. If Gundam says he didn't kill anyone, he might as well believe him. He takes people for their word; it's once you break that to Ryuji that he will never forget that.]
Alright.
[That didn't really fill in the gaps of all the other absolutely fucking batshit stuff that looked like it was going on back wherever Hajime and Gundam had come from. He thinks back to all the talks he had with Hajime, too, about what it would be like to go home.
If that's the home he has to go back to ...]
The only calamity I'm seein' here is how you ain't lettin' him see that book. Might as well just give up the ghost, dude.
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He still wants the evidence to prove it. It's in his hand, he's sure of it, and he doesn't let go of the handbook.]
If... if this has a list of students in it... the people you're saying thought I was their classmate... I want to see it, Tanaka.
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It must be rather pleasant to live in a world where you are afforded such a luxury among those who surround you.
...Ryuji is most definitely a being who requires continuous protection.]
...very well. I have no murderous sins to lay bare.
[He'll let Hajime have the handbook.]
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And also? If this were a murder game, he'd probably wipe the floor with his persona. He loved his inner demon monkey king.
He'll stay quiet as Gundam hands over the book. He's curious to know what's going on, but it's not his story to tell.]
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Hajime takes the handbook, hefting it in his hands. He's never seen anything quite like it; sure, it seems like a normal smartphone or tablet, but there's something weird about that little dancing bear. Like a malice deeper than any he's ever felt before.
He shakes his head, tabs over to the Report Card, and-- selects his own pixelated portrait after a deep breath to steel himself. ...Well, he doesn't look dead, though what's with the only things listed on his profile being mochi? Not to mention--]
Super High School Level...
[Super High School Level What though? It's all just question marks, even in Gundam's handbook. Beep, beep, he taps on Gundam's portrait. Nothing surprising there. Then Chiaki's, again with the same kind of trepidation from looking at his own. Again, nothing surprising. It's... nice, seeing her face again, his own expression softening.
The next one he clicks on is Mahiru Koizumi, and he flinches, a whole-body shudder at the greyed-out portrait labeled DEAD. Though he doesn't recognize most of the faces, the more he taps on, the more dead students he sees. He feels faint, like he might throw up. But--]
There's... it's evidence that he's not a killer, isn't it? There's just-- too many people. I...
[He clutches his tie with a hand, looking to Gundam again more pleadingly.]
What happened? Why... this is what you meant about people turning on each other, isn't it?
1/2
...
[Souda keeps suggesting Super High School Level Traitor. This is probably because Souda is an idiot-- and it has nothing to do with his tragic backstory that Gundam doesn't know anything about because he also won't give Gundam any of his goddamn hope shards.]
Be assured you are alive and shall remain that way, Hajime Hinata. You don't have my permission to perish and you will remain safe under my vigilant watch.
2/2
...Humans are such foolish creatures.
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[This is all good and normal. Apparently their(??) classmate is a yakuza heir, that's fine. Don't worry about it, Ryuji.]
Did... he couldn't have killed her, right? I-I mean... there's the rule. About... about a blackened getting away.
[Vaguely, he's aware that uhhh the door is still open. Let's just-- head inside, kids, Hajime stumbling a little as he makes his way over to sit heavily on the floor. Li rolls off the bed with a chirping meow and promptly buries herself in his lap. She's too big to really fit in his lap these days, but it doesn't stop her from trying.]
How come the police didn't get involved...? I mean, you guys are all talented students. They'd know you were missing.
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But it's not like the door closes in front of him or anything, so he'll join in, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.]
The police are useless, dude.
[Speaking very much from personal experience here. He was there when Ren came back from interrogation, saw all the bruises and marks all over his face and arms.
The police didn't save the world from anyone. They were absolutely, positively, fucking useless.]
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Besides. He's right.]
It was the failure of the police to begin with that allowed Monokuma to provide such a successful motivation.
While the memory of this event was never restored to any of us in full, there were enough hints made available for those who deliberately sought them out. They drew their own conclusions as to what had transpired.
Conflict occurred as Monokuma desired and in a heated moment, Koizumi was felled. Not by his own hand, but by one so devoted to him she would sacrifice us all and herself if it meant he could somehow escape.
...He is an barely ursine monstrosity who preys upon their fragility and drives them to unforgivable acts.
Perhaps they are looking for them... but what could they do to reveal our locality to them? There is no way to escape. No way to communicate. They are stranded, clinging desperately to the last vestiges of hope in the face of despair.
[And if they looked for them right now and managed to find Jabberwock Island -- there is no escaping that funhouse.]
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Your whole class is trapped there...
[And somehow, someone like me got mixed up in this, too. In the future... after the Project.
His fists clench at his thighs, and he just looks down at the fluffy ball of digicat curled up in his lap. A whole class full of talented students, being forced to kill each other. He can't fathom it. He wants to tell Gundam to give up the joke, but there's just no way he'd joke about this.]
Why... didn't you tell me about this before, Tanaka?
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Gundam clenches his jaw, feeling an overwhelming pressure pushing against him when Hajime speaks.]
I had no desire to bring calamity to your mind!
[Main course or reserve course -- talent or no talent. "We're not classmates."--"Your whole class."
...it's a barrier.]
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He understands completely the willful amount of energy it takes to protect someone you care about, and he's getting that this isn't a joke. How can he think that? Weirder shit's happened. He walked to school one day with Joker and the next thing he knew, he was in a castle with all sorts of armored guards trying to kill them.]
I think he cares about you, dude.
And like... whatever happened there would've hurt you to know. So he didn't wanna say anything. I mean, look at 'em. He's practically straining at something you just said.
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He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head again.]
No, that... that's not what I meant. I meant... how could you keep something like this to yourself? You have to be worried about them, right?
[Gundam can natter on all he wants about being a dark lord and having no friends, etc, etc, but Hajime just can't buy it. He's a weirdo, but he's a weirdo with a kind heart and obvious love for animals. Surely Hajime wasn't his only friend in this weird, messed-up situation?]
I guess what I'm trying to say is... are you okay? Keeping secrets about yourself... isn't easy.
[He manages not to look at Ryuji for that bit. Ryuji is. Bad. at keeping secrets about himself, to say the least. But he's not gonna call him out directly.]
1/2
He doesn't argue either.]
2/2
...
[To be asked if he's worried about someone else? To be asked if he's okay? -- For such a long time such questions would be laughable in their absurdity... Gundam Tanaka was beloved by no earthly beings and no earthly beings were beloved by Gundam Tanaka!
But. For all the difficulties he'd had relating to those on the island... he hadn't wanted them to kill or to die. For all his incompatibilities with humans Hajime had still befriended him. Even more unexpectedly someone like Sonia sought out his company.
When he left they'd all been resigned to their fate. Waiting to die. Giving up.]
...
...
...
[It's hard to find the words that sufficiently obscure such thoughts or such feelings without being insulting to those he left behind.]
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And look, Ryuji's still struggling with that himself, in a lot of ways, but it's not healthy to keep all that in. Gundam's not some dark being that's excluded from being a part of the basic tenants of friendship or learning how to cope with stuff like people eventually learn how to do.
He scratches the back of his head.]
Dude, it ain't easy to rip off your own mask, uh, trust me on that one. But... we've only got each other here, right?
'Cause if you're gonna try and go it alone, you're gonna break. There's no way around it. Shit, Hajime was turnin' invisible this month and my I lost an arm. I dunno if I coulda even made it half as long as I did if it weren't for people to kick my as--- butt around.
And I think about all the people back home, too. If they're happy or not, or what happened to them. You gotta keep yourself living in the present. You owe it to yourself. Or, I guess... their memory.
[Man, he sucks at motivational speeches.]
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I agree with that.
[It's not the loud, almost accusatory words of consent that Gundam's heart from Hajime during class trials, but a calmer, almost resigned statement. Ryuji's right.]
I... guess what I'm trying to say is that you can rely on us, okay? If you need someone to talk to about... about everything that's happened, you don't have to try to keep it a secret just to protect me.
[Hajime holds out a hand for Gundam, an offer to shake hands and make a deal, if he wants.]
So... let's be honest with each other, and depend on each other. That's what friends do, right?
1/3
He'd concealed the truth to protect Hajime, of course! But... Now that he was suddenly forced into such a conversation by these two-- maybe in a way...]
...I-I see.
[He'd lied to protect himself as well.]
2/3
Truly, the beloved foes he left behind were his most formidable opponents...
To think that the great Gundam Tanaka could have such an overwhelming sensation of regret at having been the only one to escape. Feeling twinges of guilt gnawing at his insides whenever he noticed just how terrible replicator food was-- and forcing himself to finish it regardless. Such trifles like a mere lack of sleep or his own body corroding from the inside out-- as if any of this compared to their suffering.
It's weak.
Weak, weak, weak!
It shouldn't even pierce his heart--!!]
3/4
Hajime's words are light by comparison, but in the most trying of situations they've almost always been like that. Soaring above the fighting, the deceit, the confusion-- ah.]
...You wish to form a contract with me?
4/4 like i said the whole time
He wants to grasp it. If only for that reason alone-- but to do so... would be so unlike him.
Despite the depth of Hajime's potential at this point such a thing-- it's just-- of all the--!! A Singularity and his concubine thinking they could make such a proposition to the Supreme Overlord, Gundam Tanaka, he who would one day rule this world!?
Ah... He really would like to grasp it though...]
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In fact, it's??? so dumb that Ryuji just steps behind Gundam and gives him a little nudge forward. Just fucking shake his hand, you doofus.]
God, you guys are horrible at this confidant thing.
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Which, now that things have been settled, he's bound to start checking in on people he cares about, so Gundam, I hope you enjoy this selfie with Ryuji's face, throwing up the V's like they don't matter, in a testament to the defiance of defy...ing... death? Sure, we're going with that.]
I lived, bitch!
U?
1/2
Things were healing and he was starting to recover-- although the foot he reattached kept him resting in his room longer than he might have preferred.
Of course that just gave him more time to think about how to reply to this understandably elated selfie of Ryuji juxtaposed next to this baffling text message.]
...Bitch?
2/2
Gundam repeatedly dives in front of the camera function of his communicator into his bed, until he captures a stunning action shot of himself and his four hamsters flying through the air.]
So it would seem that my dark throne awaiting me in the icy depths of Cocytus shall remain empty for a few centuries longer.
[Gundam doesn't know what female dogs have to do with this situation, but all dogs are good dogs. It's probably a compliment of sorts.]
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Why is your cock in the icy depths to begin with like what the hell dude
1/3
2/3
3/3
and.
CALLOUSNESS.
ALL HE NEEDS IS SILENCE AND CALLOUSNESS.]
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Did you dive so hard to take that selfie that you knocked yourself on the head
Oh shit, I bet you have a concussion right now don't you
Those are the worst
Hey
Hey you're not s'posed to sleep if you have a concussion
I think I read that on NetMD
Gundam?
Are you sitting on your dark throne right now
Come on, don't make me worried like this
And it's cool, if you are on the throne and texting like I do it all the time
We're just guys here right
DUDE
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It appears I’ve overestimated you as a human.
I must create a barrier to repel you for a while.
[No hearts for you for that dialogue option, Ryuji.]
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Thank god?
He was really scared there, for a moment.]
It's cool, I don't really expect a lotta people to estimate anything out of me to begin with
Speakin' as someone who's dealt with barriers before, is it spherical or just front loaded, because leaving the back exposed is great for a sneak attack.
Not that I would, I'm just sayin
Well actually what I'm tryin' to say is that if you're defending yourself, do it right, yeah?
'Cause I was actually pretty worried that you didn't make it or something
1/2
He's annoying. He's obscenely crass. He has no appreciation of personal space. The very basis of his characterization has been to be an irritant since his inception!]
2/2
My overwhelming power could drive even the bravest beings into a fit of pitiful desperation to dispense of me!
[It's odd to be pursued so diligently. There was of course Hajime-- but he was 'the singularity' and that was when he was on the island. Their sacred bond has not truly been re-affirmed here. That would take time.
...and then there was perhaps the Dark Queen, allured by a desire within to awaken her hidden power! ...But she isn't here.
Despite some attempts with varying levels of failure and limited success with others trapped on this craft--!!
It has been ...lonely.]
You insult me!
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Huh? How the hell did I insult you?
I thought we were blood brothers now
Like, that runs deep, man
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...feh!
I am perhaps... vaguely impressed, however. You did not succumb either.
["Blood Brother" -- it is more impressive sounding than the term "soul friend" at least. It's always important to one up Souda when he can...]
Maybe there is a kernel of truth to what you say.
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Anyway, it must be tough bein' a single parent with 4 kids. I can only kinda guess, 'cause my mom's one too, and I know I was always puttin' her through hell just bein' myself.
I dunno
I'm really bad at lying
You figure that out about me yet?
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I would never be capable of devouring them.
[Horrifying hamster facts aside-- Gundam and Ryuji have more in common than he'd thought. He's not as open about bearing his soul, but he can sympathize with a non-existent father and an over burdened mother.]
Of course. For a mere human you seem to have rather low deception when it comes to your skill set.
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[He's calling the hamster police on you, what the heckie.]
But yeah. I guess lying just doesn't really suit me, y'know? There's a point to it, and I get it, but like. Usually people find out anyway, so it's just easier to tell them the brutal truth, no matter what the consequences are
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You are an anomaly. In all my time with earthly life, I have known any being capable of speech to enviably betray.
Such is the nature of man.
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Your little dudes don't look like monsters. They're more like... little assistants? Yeah, sure. That's it. Also, why'd you name them after shounen manga serials?
[PLEASE... give him someone he can talk to about Two Piece, Breach, Maruto. He's dying for intelligent anime discussion.
...]
Is bein' an anomaly a bad thing? I mean, like, if the rest of society sucks major donkey butt, it doesn't mean you gotta be like them, too.
1/3
[That's disrespectful in general. Besides. San-D is a lady.]
They are my Four Dark Devas of Destruction and my magical beasts have a thirst to kill!
2/3
These are names that were prophesized in the sacred texts. The names of four heavenly kings that would come to serve me!
[You gotta say you like it first before he cops to something like that.]
3/3
Yet the singularity saw nothing in me worth changing. Perhaps he recognized this in you as well.
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So........ the sacred texts are manga.
[Hey, he's not going to complain about that. He loves comics, unapologetically.]
Y'know, you talk like a dark lord and all that shit, but like. You're just a punk like me, huh? The rest of the world's always looked at me and got the wrong kinda impression, but when you just. Like. Accept that about yourself, it's almost like it becomes your own sorta power.
[IN A VERY... LITERAL... SENSE....]
Uh... this again, huh. The singularity.
1/2
[He'll read an encyclopedia from front cover to back. So long as it is relevant to animals.]
However, I suppose if one chooses to ignore the weight of time bearing down on one's soul... manga is an acceptable form of entertainment.
2/2
[Does he not say it enough? Maybe he needs to work it into conversation more.]
Pray tell, what sort of power has your shunned existence afforded you?
[Fire? Grass? Ghost? -- hopefully not Water he's weak to Water types.]
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KNEW IT.
HE FREAKING KNEW IT.
Ryuji is so stupidly elated over this.]
Glad you admitted to bein' a giant otaku it's okay, no big deal man, we can talk about your thoughts on Ruffy later since like, I never got to find out if he escaped Frand Isle and I'm hopin' you're from the future or something
[This is so, so, so, so lame.]
Lightning
And maybe ramen, but I haven't figured out how to actually use that power yet
1/2
2/2
[So neither has the obvious advantage between them then. It would be a most engaging battle between equals!]
That's not a power. Ramen is that which sates you, driving you to train to your fullest potential and obtain true strength in this world!
[You know like Maruto.]
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But that's a digression.]
Yeah man you're definitely something special I ain't ever gonna deny that
[God, he's smiling like the world's biggest dork right now.]
Listen
What about a superhero who could shoot ramen out of his fingers like Arachnidman? But the noodles were super strong and they could totally like grapple the shit out of bad guys
1/2
[A long. Pause.]
2/2
The RaMan?
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He just claps.
Alone, in his room.
Effin' well done, dude.]
Never a noo-dull moment with you huh
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Weak weak weak I say! Such wordplay does not even pierce my heart!
Redeem yourself with the fruition of his backstory!
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RaMan started out as a quality dude at a nuclear power point. Kind of loserish, didn't have a lot of friends, nerdy, kinda bookish type. Had a real good friend, a girl, out in engineering that he totally had the hots for but never knew how to move it up to the next notch, y'know what I mean? Always kinda sweet, cool sorta dude but absolutely effin' clueless at the romancin' part of wooing and all that shit. Did I mention he like really loved ramen? Cause he really loved ramen. In his spare time he used to be an extreme couponer, those sorta crazy people that walk into a 7i and walk out with 4 slurpees, three whole pizzas, a pack of smokes even though he never touched the shit, and the store owin' him money to take it off their shelves. He thought it kinda made him a super hero, right? Super savings, super saving... same sorta shit. Anyway, one day he was busy clippin' his coupons left and right at work during lunch and the plant had a total meltdown that would later be completely covered up by the shady ass government he lived under. There was some experimental gas that got spread into the air that rearranged the uh
molecules?
Yeah, those things, between himself and the bowl of ramen he was eating. Dude passes out and finds himself woken up 2 years later in a giant test tube filled with chicken broth and he thinks, what the hell, this is great, I'll just eat my way outta this shit. But the evil scientists were running tests on him, and he finds out that NEXT to him, right? Is the same girl that he had fallen for but she looks totally different, like a pure 10/10 vixen just sleepin' in a jar. So of course, he needs to save her, right? So he starts drinking that shit down, findin' it kinda weird that he can breathe underwater but whatever that's not that important, and he goes to punch the window but he's a wet noodle.
Like.
Literal levels of wet noodle here. Arms completely transformed into spindly threds of glutenous goodness. He finds out that he can stretch those noodles, so he does that. He does the thing. The test tube fills up with so much ramen that the entire thing just EXPLODES AND BOOM shatters into a million pieces, so the alarms come off. But the dude's been in a test tube for like, ever, idk did I say 2 years? Something like that, 2 years, yeah, and then the guards come in. And he's nood as shit, still that kinda nerdy guy who was ashamed of his bod, hid behind a computer. But the computer got super soaked and drenched from all the broth he had absorbed, and short circuited. Defense system goes up, machine guns appear in the corners of the walls and start blaring everywhere like PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW, but HAH! dude's made out of ramen. You shoot one part and other noodly muscles just appear outta nowhere.
Saves the girl, they escape, and he has to hide himself from the rest of society. She has no idea what happened that day, but she remembers the gentle touch of a warm human ramen against her, carrying her to safety. She falls in love with RaMan, not knowing it's really always just been the nerd the entire time. And then flash forward to a bunch of crimes and robberies all over the city. He's there, he's kicking ass, and now he's.
He's RaMan.
Couponer by day, noodleman by night.
Whatcha think
1/2
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2/2
Yet you have neglected his compatriot. They were both suspended in jars-- she was also being subjected to experimentation!
Clearly she must have been a most treasured friend if he is able to discern that it is her despite her complete change in appearance!
Besides you never specified. Can she shape shift into the Hokkaido fox or the Japanese red fox?
[Someone wildly misinterpreted what vixen meant-- but.]
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[NOT THAT... TYPE OF FOXY!?
Does he need to explain the birds and the bees to Gundbro? Wait, that's a bad phrase. He probably knows all about the birds and the bees and bother species' of mating habits.
Ryuji just lets him have this one. It's easier that way.]
Oh my shit
Yeah of course
You totally got it, Hokkaido fox 100%.
1/2
You have to take into account your audience, Ryuji!]
FUAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA! SPLENDID!
A truly compelling twist!
2/2
It seems like a rather cliche and entirely unjustifiable way to impress superhuman abilities in mortal beings.
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You think I should've taken a diff angle with that? I didn't know how else to give 'em powers. And to be fair, it wasn't like the tube gave 'em his ramen powers, it was the nuclear fallout that fused his body with the ramen he was eatin' during lunch.
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Without the talent tube even.]
I suppose the mere aesthetic of the glass shattering all around him as he escapes from his confining prison is certainly a worthy spectacle to behold.
One needs to visualize it beyond the realm of verbalization to see the true power in it.
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[God... help him...]
But of course that'll be covered in the sequel to the first film when it goes deep on the backstory stuff and touched again from Hokkaido Fox's perspective in the spinoff
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...metaphorical or allegorical?
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You are often an incomprehensible being.
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un: turntechGodhead
hey
what the fuck are you doing down there
like i can deal with the muffled supervillain cackling
but it sounds like youre doing some sort of olympic training in there
are you practicing your soccer tackles or what
un: theforbiddenone
who is this?
no subject
[also, Dave's username has the word god in it, which is probably the only real clue Gundam's going to get at first on his identity — because he's absolutely going to be bullshitting an answer to that question.]
space station noise and safety inspector
my jobs to keep the halls down to a dull haunted roar
the laughings fine
it blends right in with the ghosts and the weird noises they make
but trying to fight the space walls is where i draw the line
im gonna have to write you a ticket
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Thankfully the hint and Dave's baffling manner of speech is enough for Gundam to solve this mystery.]
...
[Gundam grabs his clunky boot from the closet and launches it up at the ceiling of his room just to confirm.]
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[rude ass cackling hamster man i stg]
hey
just for that im doubling the fine
[you think Dave's bluffing about issuing a citation? he has sticky notes and he's not afraid to use them, Gundam.]
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So you felt fit to reveal your locality to me, immortal god of hamster Valhalla?
Brave... brave indeed.
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was that supposed to be a threat
whatre you gonna do exactly
1/2
[Hey if you've ever wondered if some people really laugh when they type some form of 'lol' in a text -- Gundam does.]
FUAHAHAHA A HA HA HA!
2/2
As I have said before, I have no intention of ensnaring myself in an eternal rivalry with an immortal being if there is no worthy cause to do so.
My time is far too valuable!
[Although Dave would probably know from Gundam's cackling schedule -- the Supreme Overlord of Ice spends a lot of time in the thirteenth portal of the third plane of existence.]
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really
so youre down there concocting some evil shit like
basically every time i hear you fuahahahaing
which is a lot btw
it better be fucking heinous to warrant that kinda rita repulsa laughter
if i ever get to see it im gonna be rating it
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Perhaps I shall reveal a portion to you? I am never idle!
[Actually it's been a little difficult to figure out what to do with his time-- when he's not dying of a plague anyways.
If he were home he'd be doing animal research and updating his blog! If he were on Jabberwock Island he'd be trapped in a funhouse starving, but the Dark Queen was interested in collecting his Hope Shards.
Here? Time has seemed like a rather infinite illusion where there never was quite enough stuff one could do to fill the endless voids.
Hm.]
There is a price to be paid for this knowledge, however. Nothing in this world can be obtained without sacrifice.
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are you seriously trying to charge me to hear your supervillain monologue
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Has your curiosity been piqued?
kekeke....
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[yes.]
what would you even charge for that
theres an exact amount of jackshit here that would reasonably count as currency
1/2
What I require is far more valuable!
2/2
[He wants your discarded toilet paper rolls. As many as you have.]
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humor me for a second and youve got a deal
i want you to type something out
no copy pasting or the usual fuckin eldritch grimdark supervillain in training antics got it
you gotta actually hit your fingers to the keys here
really get some more marketable music with your words going
you ready
"i would like some empty toilet paper rolls
im going to use them to build a real life hamster valhalla"
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I, Gundam Tanaka, shall not!
The terms of the contract have been laid bare. If my forbidden knowledge appeals to your very being, you will act accordingly!
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dont frame it like its the fuckin apple of knowledge or something
you kinda already went there by referring to toilet paper as what you use to remove your shit sins
how many shit sin tubes for a minute of monologuing
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BUT NOT NOW.]
I henceforth rescind any need of your offerings!
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what
what did i say
im gonna give you the toilet paper tubes isnt that what you wanted
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Even if you were the deity of the paperboard cores once sheathed within the bindings of perforated paper who could create them at will, I would not accept them!
[He made the description even more obtuse just for you Dave.]
You are not fit to know how an Overlord lives!
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what the fuck dude
you cant pull back on a deal in the middle of the negotiating
thats not how these agreements work
we were finally gettin around to a mutual understanding here
dont you want your hamster valhalla tubes
dont your hamsters want tubes to crawl around and squeak in
1/2
...
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Cease your incessant caterwauling!
...
Descend to my domain with the offering before I think better of it.
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yeah alright i can do that
gonna need a little time to put this deal together though
just like
i dunno
practice your monologuing for a while
ill make sure the hamsters have plenty of tubes to crawl around in
[yeah, Dave's just gonna be toilet papering the entire fucking fourth floor in his quest to acquire enough empty tubes. have fun with that when yous top by later, Gundam!]
@hinatahajime;
theforbiddenone;video
THERE'S NO TIME FOR TYPING.]
REVEAL TO ME THE LOCALITY OF THE BEAST, HAJIME HINATA!
video;
[Dude! You startled him?!]
I-I don't have it with me. He belongs to a guy named Ezra Bridger... a friend of mine. He's in room 420, and even if the cat looks weird, you can't tell him that. But... hey.
[A pause, Hajime clearly trying to impress upon Gundam just how important this is.]
He's... it's hard to explain. He was one of the first people to wake up on this station, like me and Ryuji. Then one day he just... vanished into thin air. Literally. It was on camera and everything, I saw it happen. But... he doesn't remember anything about it. I'm kind of worried about him.
1/2
Hajime is still speaking... but Gundam is sure he picked up all the necessary information.]
2/2
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[Ugh. UGH. Fine!! Go chase down the Emperor. Hajime will check in with him another time.
Then again, he can't help but be a little happy that Gundam's so excited. It's like he did something good.]
1/2
But. This... is not an art that he is well versed in and he can't afford another crushing upset when such high stakes are involved.]
...
...
...
2/2
What manner of knocks would conceal my overwhelming dark aura from this being and shall allow me passage through the threshold to his familiar?
[How do you protag...]
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uhh
idk just try knocking on his door. tell him hinata told you about his loth-cat, and you'd love to meet him
[Just... tell the truth...]
try not to tell him you're some dark overlord until he actually lets you in though
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That's a good line.
[Alright.]
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[He's rooting for you, Gundam...]
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...what is next in the rite?
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idk, just talk about your experience with animals, or ask him about other animals from his planet. this guy's literally from another galaxy, i'm sure he can tell you about all kinds of animals
don't overthink it! ezra's a good guy
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...and he really wants to pet The Emperor...]
I shall trust in my natural instincts from this point on then!
[What could... possibly go wrong.]
action
But he looks down and sees a premium Gundam model kid just outside the entrance. And he gets to thinking--- Gundam, Gundam? Gundam. Gundam? He'll bite. Leaning down, he picks up the kit and turns it over. This is the real deal. Over 600 parts. It's just like the one he had back in his room- the one that had taken him literal months to finish, and to this day, completely fucking haunts him that he's missing one piece off the left arm of the finished product since he was horrible at keeping all the bits together.
But he knocks on the door, just in case Gundam is the owner of this Gundam, and waits patiently.
Except, of course, when he grows more impatient and starts communicating from the other side.]
Yo! Man. Open up, dude.
1/2
Seeing Ryuji speaking to his door is something he wasn't anticipating upon his return.]
...
[...sigh.]
2/2
Well. Fine. So be it!]
Kekekeke...
For you to come to my wretched domain after our last battle... I praise your admirable endeavor, slave.
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Dude, is this yours? I found it outside your room.
[Wait a fucking second.]
SLAVE!?
1/2
Gundam tilts his head. Where did he clock in on for that reaction, Maga-Z? It feels like it could be a new record.]
Hm. Interesting.
2/2
Except his eyes have actually widened a lot and he is completely distracted from Ryuji's declaration of outrage.]
Something as truly remarkable as this was just laying out in the open?
[He's never actually seen any model toy kit like this so up close before.]
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Except when you can, and as much as he's not comfortable with the idea of being Gundam's slave (here goes that hard S inclination, again), the model is what he's here for, and seeing Gundam get excited about anything (is that excitement?) is kind of neat.
He holds out the box for him to give a good look over.]
It's one of those models that woulda cost a few ten-thousand yen back home, yeah? [And the colors on the box are awesome; chromes and yellows depict a particularly awesome looking mech.]
I love mech shit, it's great. [He looks at Gundam nervously, though, because it's a pretty childish thing to be really into.]
You uh. You wanna put it together with me?
1/2
Regardless, Gundam absolutely does look excited. The fact that such a thing is childish for two teenagers to be interested in briefly crosses his mind but--]
Maybe it is because no one has ever bought me any sort of toy before, but I think this is truly a remarkable find.
2/2
"Together." It's probably not that outlandish to believe that Gundam is not often invited to do things.]
Know this... if I show you my serious side in this endeavor, it will not end with mere child's play.
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Yeah, I figured. Dude, I don't take this shi----shtuff. Stuff lightly.
[Models are SERIOUS BUSINESS, DUDE. They require a gentler touch. A type of attention to detail that Ryuji unfortunately just doesn't have. He holds it out to him and lets him take it if he wants to.
Fine, whatever, he'll work with the paradigm instead of trying to trash it down to the ground.]
Honestly, I had a lot of help from my mom the last time I built one. You wanna be the lead engineer on this project? You're probably a lot smarter than I am.
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You've crafted one before?
Experience is nearly as valued as intellect in such an undertaking as this.
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Yeah. It took me a few weeks, though. [And he hesitates for a moment, wondering if it matters either way when he adds...] When my track coach broke my leg, I couldn't really leave the house too much, so... I got super into building the one I had. It's probably back home, collectin' dust right now.
[He smiles, though, because this one is going to be a lot better tended to.]
If you're serious, though, my room's got a pretty big kitchen table and it's not like anyone lives there anymore. You can come by whenever.
1/2
He'd probably never have the time to devote to something like this at home.]
Fret not! With the Four Dark Devas and myself to aid you, this warrior of the rising sun shall be ready to take arms against all that oppose it forthwith.
[It's not polite, but Gundam can't help himself from briefly glancing down at the mention of a broken leg. For a moment he thinks he might not have heard Ryuji quite right. It seems unreasonably counter intuitive for a coach to break their athlete's leg? ...Unless it was an accident, he supposes.
Perhaps being surrounded by ultimate talent distorts one's perception of the realities of the average world but-- for something like that to happen, Gundam can't help but think he must not have been very good at coaching at all.]
2/2
Let our dark ritual commence and I shall show you just how immensely overwhelming I can be!
[Gundam looks at Ryuji expectantly-- because honestly he has no idea where Ryuji's room is at all. He never thought to pay attention to such a thing.]
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He had alienated every friend he had in school, and taken up a lonely existence. He guesses they weren't really his friends if they never stood up for him even when he went to bat for all their suffering under their shitty, abusive coach.
Which just means that every friend he made from here on out, he cherished in their own way. It's a snort of a chuckle when Gundam pops off about the rising sun and all that shit. Still doesn't buy it, but.]
I'd be honored to have the Dark Devas helping. Everything's better when you're in a team, huh?
[Overwhelming is definitely the right word. Ryuji's already moving towards the elevators. His room's up on floor four, after all. Not that Gundam would know that since the only room he's ever seen him leave was some immortal hamster god of Valhalla's.]
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Kekeke...
Yes, I recall your speech referencing the impentrable strength of geometric shapes.
[The Pentagon of Pandemonium! -- With Ryuji's inclusion it's become a Hexagon of... Hell. Horrors. Havoc?
Havoc!]
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You, uh, ever wonder about that word? Impenetrable. Doesn't it have like, the same meaning as the word impregnable? But in order to impregnate you kinda have to pene---
[He's gone down a rabbit hole and he gets the idea real quick that gundam doesn't want to follow him into the abyss of this one, and ends up scratching the back of his head. He'll save that question for someone else.]
A...anyway.
[He hits the call button.]
1/2
...
[Gundam folds his arms over his chest, levying Ryuji with a stare.]
2/2
[The elevator arrives and with the press of a button, the doors close in front of them... allowing Ryuji's route of final escape to gently slip away.]
I deny the very basis of your assumption! There are multiple methods of reproduction that yield offspring without involving penetration.
A single individual can produce offspring asexually through multiple methods. While my work with aquatic beings is limited, Turbellarian flatworms are capable of fission. Creatures who can separate their bodies into head and tail regions then regenerate the missing half and create two new organisms. Coral are quite capable of reproduction through budding. The original organism experiences an outgrowth on part of it's body. The separation of this growth creates a new individual, smaller than it's prior host. If an entity is capable of fragmentation, and the parts are big enough, a separate individual will regrow from each part. Surely even you cannot be ignorant of the abilities of certain sea stars. A new creature can be regenerated from a broken arm and a piece of their central discs.
Of course these are all low-level entities. The true power of asexual reproduction lies in parthenogenesis, where eggs develop without being fertilized. Typically it's observed in invertebrates such as ants, wasps, and bees. However! Some vertebrate creatures are also capable of being able to reproduce through parthenogenesis. Two komodo dragons, a hammerhead shark, and a blacktop shark have all been documented as having produced parthenogenic young when the females have been isolated from males!
Even in sexual reproduction it is not a finite necessity to bring forth new life into this world. Hermaphrodites are entities that encompass both male and female reproductive systems within one entity. While they prefer to mate, they can also be capable of self fertilization.
External fertilization usually occurs in aquatic environments where both eggs and sperm are released into the water. After the sperm reaches the egg, fertilization takes place--[Please tell me you hit a floor button, Ryuji.]
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Actually.
It goes something like.
Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me
And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel
Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert
And you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch,
You want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want you smothered, want you covered.]
Like my Waffle House hash browns.
[Wait, what?
He shakes his head and presses "4."]
...Dude.
i'm dying
--what?
[H-hash browns?]
Fried potatoes... are not sentient beings. They are incapable of any form of reproduction!
LMAO IM GLAD
Uhhh...
[He thinks about that for a second.
Is it worth it to explain? Probably not. It'll make him look weirder.]
You ever do one of those science experiments in class? The one with the toothpicks and the potatoes and you make 'em sprout? Definitely can reproduce.
[So we'll just talk about spud spunk instead.]
no subject
A potato yielding sprouts is entirely different from a cooked entity bringing forth new life into this world.
[The experiment itself sounds rather juvenile, but he's not uninterested.]
Yet I am not familiar with such a rite. Go on.
[If a class activity involved any form of partner, Gundam would bail to seek refuge in the nurse's office.
For. Uh. Their safety. Obviously.]
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Nah, man, you don't cook the potato, you let it sit in a jar of water with toothpicks holding it up.
[It's not a rite, it's the only B he's ever gotten in science.
The elevator door opens, giving way to the familiar scene of a still-TP'ed hall. Is anyone ever going to fix that? Probably not.]
And then after a while, it starts growing roots and a buncha sprouts come outta it like giant beanstalks. It looks hella alien.
[Regular Mark Watney over here.]
1/2
You are the one who suggested the possibility of "hash brown fertilization" within the House of Waffles!
[You know. Outloud. Even Gundam thinks this is an absurd conversation.]
Do not try to perplex me so inadequately!
2/2
Kekeke... Potatoes. How forgiving. How amusing!
I suppose in the pursuit of mastery over life itself, one must start somewhere. However, small a step.
[Said the guy who could not get a pumpkin to grow.]
As a breeder of fearsome hell beasts such an experiment is beneath me.
no subject
attempt... to imitate... godhood.
That just gets a rise out of Ryuji. Growing potatoes gets you closer to god? He starts to laugh, and then it just spreads outward from there, straight through to his shoulders and his chest, and as he centers himself, he gives Gundam an arm around the shoulder gesture, careful to note that there are probably hamsters in his scarf.]
Dude, hash browns are pretty much, like, getting as close to godhood as it gets. [GOD WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, GUNDAM?]
And it's Waffle House, by the way. [Whether or not the experiment is beneath him, man he'd kill a guy for some golden browns right now.]
We got cooler experiments to run. [He points to his room. Right. They have highly important life altering things to do here.]
1/2
That's a rather generous description. [Anytime his mother prepared them they tended to be simultaneously drenched in grease and irrevocably burnt beyond the realm of recognition. Less hashbrowned and more hashblackened.
Of course he ate them regardless but-- blegh...]
2/2
Gundam sees Ryuji's arm moving to wrap around him and quickly ducks to evade it. Then rolls out of the elevator, across the hall, and jumps up in front of Ryuji's door like he planned to do that the entire time.]
O-onward!
action; sometime mid-morning of event day 1
[It's not like Hajime to be so insistent as he knocks on Gundam's door. It's not like him to sound -- worried. Almost downright scared as he knocks again.]
Are you in here?
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He hadn't accepted it. He hadn't rejected it either. When Hajime's voice permeates through the door, Gundam wonders if for a moment the voice has changed tactics.]
Who goes there?
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[His tone pitches up, almost as a question. Shouldn't... Gundam recognize his voice? Or is this just part of how this guy is deciding to greet people these days. It really is a mystery every time Gundam opens his mouth.]
Can you open the door? I want to talk to you.
no subject
Although then that brings up the question of why Hajime's voice does sound worried. Perhaps, Gundam wonders, he's not the only one here being tormented when he leaves his room.]
You must be truly desperate to seek hospitality within my realm.
[Despite that, Gundam sweeps his arm to motion Hajime in.]