[The door closes and it's just two dudes, in an elevator- one who just talked about reproductive qualities of whatever, and the other thinking about bad touch, 5 feet away from each other because they're not gay.]
Uhhh...
[He thinks about that for a second.
Is it worth it to explain? Probably not. It'll make him look weirder.]
You ever do one of those science experiments in class? The one with the toothpicks and the potatoes and you make 'em sprout? Definitely can reproduce.
That just gets a rise out of Ryuji. Growing potatoes gets you closer to god? He starts to laugh, and then it just spreads outward from there, straight through to his shoulders and his chest, and as he centers himself, he gives Gundam an arm around the shoulder gesture, careful to note that there are probably hamsters in his scarf.]
Dude, hash browns are pretty much, like, getting as close to godhood as it gets. [GOD WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, GUNDAM?]
And it's Waffle House, by the way. [Whether or not the experiment is beneath him, man he'd kill a guy for some golden browns right now.]
We got cooler experiments to run. [He points to his room. Right. They have highly important life altering things to do here.]
[Being able to grow anything with someone's own two hands implies a mastery over the art of creation itself!]
That's a rather generous description. [Anytime his mother prepared them they tended to be simultaneously drenched in grease and irrevocably burnt beyond the realm of recognition. Less hashbrowned and more hashblackened.
Gundam sees Ryuji's arm moving to wrap around him and quickly ducks to evade it. Then rolls out of the elevator, across the hall, and jumps up in front of Ryuji's door like he planned to do that the entire time.]
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i'm dying
--what?
[H-hash browns?]
Fried potatoes... are not sentient beings. They are incapable of any form of reproduction!
LMAO IM GLAD
Uhhh...
[He thinks about that for a second.
Is it worth it to explain? Probably not. It'll make him look weirder.]
You ever do one of those science experiments in class? The one with the toothpicks and the potatoes and you make 'em sprout? Definitely can reproduce.
[So we'll just talk about spud spunk instead.]
no subject
A potato yielding sprouts is entirely different from a cooked entity bringing forth new life into this world.
[The experiment itself sounds rather juvenile, but he's not uninterested.]
Yet I am not familiar with such a rite. Go on.
[If a class activity involved any form of partner, Gundam would bail to seek refuge in the nurse's office.
For. Uh. Their safety. Obviously.]
no subject
Nah, man, you don't cook the potato, you let it sit in a jar of water with toothpicks holding it up.
[It's not a rite, it's the only B he's ever gotten in science.
The elevator door opens, giving way to the familiar scene of a still-TP'ed hall. Is anyone ever going to fix that? Probably not.]
And then after a while, it starts growing roots and a buncha sprouts come outta it like giant beanstalks. It looks hella alien.
[Regular Mark Watney over here.]
1/2
You are the one who suggested the possibility of "hash brown fertilization" within the House of Waffles!
[You know. Outloud. Even Gundam thinks this is an absurd conversation.]
Do not try to perplex me so inadequately!
2/2
Kekeke... Potatoes. How forgiving. How amusing!
I suppose in the pursuit of mastery over life itself, one must start somewhere. However, small a step.
[Said the guy who could not get a pumpkin to grow.]
As a breeder of fearsome hell beasts such an experiment is beneath me.
no subject
attempt... to imitate... godhood.
That just gets a rise out of Ryuji. Growing potatoes gets you closer to god? He starts to laugh, and then it just spreads outward from there, straight through to his shoulders and his chest, and as he centers himself, he gives Gundam an arm around the shoulder gesture, careful to note that there are probably hamsters in his scarf.]
Dude, hash browns are pretty much, like, getting as close to godhood as it gets. [GOD WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, GUNDAM?]
And it's Waffle House, by the way. [Whether or not the experiment is beneath him, man he'd kill a guy for some golden browns right now.]
We got cooler experiments to run. [He points to his room. Right. They have highly important life altering things to do here.]
1/2
That's a rather generous description. [Anytime his mother prepared them they tended to be simultaneously drenched in grease and irrevocably burnt beyond the realm of recognition. Less hashbrowned and more hashblackened.
Of course he ate them regardless but-- blegh...]
2/2
Gundam sees Ryuji's arm moving to wrap around him and quickly ducks to evade it. Then rolls out of the elevator, across the hall, and jumps up in front of Ryuji's door like he planned to do that the entire time.]
O-onward!