[at some point during that fascinating conversation about the icy depths of cocks and blood brothering, another text buzzes on Gundam's watch. it's the dude from room 4.13! you know. the one directly above Gundam's?]
hey what the fuck are you doing down there like i can deal with the muffled supervillain cackling but it sounds like youre doing some sort of olympic training in there are you practicing your soccer tackles or what
[dude's just making friends left and right! he's also meeting people who saw his warning on the network about avoiding the 13th portal of the third plane of existence, heard the kekeke'ing from the depths below, and put two and two together.]
[also, Dave's username has the word god in it, which is probably the only real clue Gundam's going to get at first on his identity — because he's absolutely going to be bullshitting an answer to that question.]
space station noise and safety inspector my jobs to keep the halls down to a dull haunted roar the laughings fine it blends right in with the ghosts and the weird noises they make but trying to fight the space walls is where i draw the line im gonna have to write you a ticket
Wouldn't it be kind of me to let you know in advance... so you don't lay awake every night. Writhing in anticipation of the horrors I could unleash upon you at any moment.
[Hey if you've ever wondered if some people really laugh when they type some form of 'lol' in a text -- Gundam does.]
As I have said before, I have no intention of ensnaring myself in an eternal rivalry with an immortal being if there is no worthy cause to do so.
My time is far too valuable!
[Although Dave would probably know from Gundam's cackling schedule -- the Supreme Overlord of Ice spends a lot of time in the thirteenth portal of the third plane of existence.]
Edited (i can't remember every dumb thing gundam says accurately) 2018-08-24 02:49 (UTC)
[oh, he knows all right. and he's 100% going to point it out.]
really so youre down there concocting some evil shit like basically every time i hear you fuahahahaing which is a lot btw it better be fucking heinous to warrant that kinda rita repulsa laughter if i ever get to see it im gonna be rating it
So you wish to know how an Overlord like myself lives? Kekeke...
Perhaps I shall reveal a portion to you? I am never idle!
[Actually it's been a little difficult to figure out what to do with his time-- when he's not dying of a plague anyways.
If he were home he'd be doing animal research and updating his blog! If he were on Jabberwock Island he'd be trapped in a funhouse starving, but the Dark Queen was interested in collecting his Hope Shards.
Here? Time has seemed like a rather infinite illusion where there never was quite enough stuff one could do to fill the endless voids.
Hm.]
There is a price to be paid for this knowledge, however. Nothing in this world can be obtained without sacrifice.
humor me for a second and youve got a deal i want you to type something out no copy pasting or the usual fuckin eldritch grimdark supervillain in training antics got it you gotta actually hit your fingers to the keys here really get some more marketable music with your words going you ready
"i would like some empty toilet paper rolls im going to use them to build a real life hamster valhalla"
oh my god dont frame it like its the fuckin apple of knowledge or something you kinda already went there by referring to toilet paper as what you use to remove your shit sins
how many shit sin tubes for a minute of monologuing
Even if you were the deity of the paperboard cores once sheathed within the bindings of perforated paper who could create them at will, I would not accept them!
[He made the description even more obtuse just for you Dave.]
[DON'T DO THIS GUNDAM, RIGHT WHEN DAVE WAS STARTING TO GET INVESTED.]
what the fuck dude you cant pull back on a deal in the middle of the negotiating thats not how these agreements work we were finally gettin around to a mutual understanding here dont you want your hamster valhalla tubes dont your hamsters want tubes to crawl around and squeak in
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un: turntechGodhead
hey
what the fuck are you doing down there
like i can deal with the muffled supervillain cackling
but it sounds like youre doing some sort of olympic training in there
are you practicing your soccer tackles or what
un: theforbiddenone
who is this?
no subject
[also, Dave's username has the word god in it, which is probably the only real clue Gundam's going to get at first on his identity — because he's absolutely going to be bullshitting an answer to that question.]
space station noise and safety inspector
my jobs to keep the halls down to a dull haunted roar
the laughings fine
it blends right in with the ghosts and the weird noises they make
but trying to fight the space walls is where i draw the line
im gonna have to write you a ticket
no subject
Thankfully the hint and Dave's baffling manner of speech is enough for Gundam to solve this mystery.]
...
[Gundam grabs his clunky boot from the closet and launches it up at the ceiling of his room just to confirm.]
no subject
[rude ass cackling hamster man i stg]
hey
just for that im doubling the fine
[you think Dave's bluffing about issuing a citation? he has sticky notes and he's not afraid to use them, Gundam.]
no subject
So you felt fit to reveal your locality to me, immortal god of hamster Valhalla?
Brave... brave indeed.
no subject
was that supposed to be a threat
whatre you gonna do exactly
1/2
[Hey if you've ever wondered if some people really laugh when they type some form of 'lol' in a text -- Gundam does.]
FUAHAHAHA A HA HA HA!
2/2
As I have said before, I have no intention of ensnaring myself in an eternal rivalry with an immortal being if there is no worthy cause to do so.
My time is far too valuable!
[Although Dave would probably know from Gundam's cackling schedule -- the Supreme Overlord of Ice spends a lot of time in the thirteenth portal of the third plane of existence.]
no subject
really
so youre down there concocting some evil shit like
basically every time i hear you fuahahahaing
which is a lot btw
it better be fucking heinous to warrant that kinda rita repulsa laughter
if i ever get to see it im gonna be rating it
no subject
Perhaps I shall reveal a portion to you? I am never idle!
[Actually it's been a little difficult to figure out what to do with his time-- when he's not dying of a plague anyways.
If he were home he'd be doing animal research and updating his blog! If he were on Jabberwock Island he'd be trapped in a funhouse starving, but the Dark Queen was interested in collecting his Hope Shards.
Here? Time has seemed like a rather infinite illusion where there never was quite enough stuff one could do to fill the endless voids.
Hm.]
There is a price to be paid for this knowledge, however. Nothing in this world can be obtained without sacrifice.
no subject
are you seriously trying to charge me to hear your supervillain monologue
no subject
Has your curiosity been piqued?
kekeke....
no subject
[yes.]
what would you even charge for that
theres an exact amount of jackshit here that would reasonably count as currency
1/2
What I require is far more valuable!
2/2
[He wants your discarded toilet paper rolls. As many as you have.]
no subject
humor me for a second and youve got a deal
i want you to type something out
no copy pasting or the usual fuckin eldritch grimdark supervillain in training antics got it
you gotta actually hit your fingers to the keys here
really get some more marketable music with your words going
you ready
"i would like some empty toilet paper rolls
im going to use them to build a real life hamster valhalla"
no subject
no subject
no subject
I, Gundam Tanaka, shall not!
The terms of the contract have been laid bare. If my forbidden knowledge appeals to your very being, you will act accordingly!
no subject
dont frame it like its the fuckin apple of knowledge or something
you kinda already went there by referring to toilet paper as what you use to remove your shit sins
how many shit sin tubes for a minute of monologuing
no subject
BUT NOT NOW.]
I henceforth rescind any need of your offerings!
no subject
what
what did i say
im gonna give you the toilet paper tubes isnt that what you wanted
no subject
Even if you were the deity of the paperboard cores once sheathed within the bindings of perforated paper who could create them at will, I would not accept them!
[He made the description even more obtuse just for you Dave.]
You are not fit to know how an Overlord lives!
no subject
what the fuck dude
you cant pull back on a deal in the middle of the negotiating
thats not how these agreements work
we were finally gettin around to a mutual understanding here
dont you want your hamster valhalla tubes
dont your hamsters want tubes to crawl around and squeak in
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)