[You can't just change topics like that on Ryuji and expect his attention lacking ass to just switch gears.
Except when you can, and as much as he's not comfortable with the idea of being Gundam's slave (here goes that hard S inclination, again), the model is what he's here for, and seeing Gundam get excited about anything (is that excitement?) is kind of neat.
He holds out the box for him to give a good look over.]
It's one of those models that woulda cost a few ten-thousand yen back home, yeah? [And the colors on the box are awesome; chromes and yellows depict a particularly awesome looking mech.]
I love mech shit, it's great. [He looks at Gundam nervously, though, because it's a pretty childish thing to be really into.]
[There is a hierarchy of endearment, Ryuji. Slave being the lowest tier, but... a tier! You made it to a tier, Ryuji.
Regardless, Gundam absolutely does look excited. The fact that such a thing is childish for two teenagers to be interested in briefly crosses his mind but--]
Maybe it is because no one has ever bought me any sort of toy before, but I think this is truly a remarkable find.
[Ryuji's starting to get Gundam's jargon a little bit better the more he talks to him. Maybe it's a low rung on the echelon to greatness, but it's not that bad right now. He has no idea whether or not Gundam had a lot of opportunities to do these sort of things with other people, but, yeah... the inkling is there to think that most people would have rolled their eyes at him and given up. At least, in his own world. But Ryuji's not really like most other people.]
Yeah, I figured. Dude, I don't take this shi----shtuff. Stuff lightly.
[Models are SERIOUS BUSINESS, DUDE. They require a gentler touch. A type of attention to detail that Ryuji unfortunately just doesn't have. He holds it out to him and lets him take it if he wants to.
Fine, whatever, he'll work with the paradigm instead of trying to trash it down to the ground.]
Honestly, I had a lot of help from my mom the last time I built one. You wanna be the lead engineer on this project? You're probably a lot smarter than I am.
[Gundam eagerly takes the box, holding it up to appraise it more closely. He never thought in a thousand years he'd get to actually hold such a treasure in his hands, let alone get to assemble one.]
You've crafted one before?
Experience is nearly as valued as intellect in such an undertaking as this.
[Seeing him hold it the way he does gives a good idea that his values are in the right place, and Ryuji's faith is bolstered by his interest. This gundam is going to be Amazing. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it.]
Yeah. It took me a few weeks, though. [And he hesitates for a moment, wondering if it matters either way when he adds...] When my track coach broke my leg, I couldn't really leave the house too much, so... I got super into building the one I had. It's probably back home, collectin' dust right now.
[He smiles, though, because this one is going to be a lot better tended to.]
If you're serious, though, my room's got a pretty big kitchen table and it's not like anyone lives there anymore. You can come by whenever.
[Weeks... hm. Well. Spending time with Ryuji hasn't been the most terrible usage of his time.
He'd probably never have the time to devote to something like this at home.]
Fret not! With the Four Dark Devas and myself to aid you, this warrior of the rising sun shall be ready to take arms against all that oppose it forthwith.
[It's not polite, but Gundam can't help himself from briefly glancing down at the mention of a broken leg. For a moment he thinks he might not have heard Ryuji quite right. It seems unreasonably counter intuitive for a coach to break their athlete's leg? ...Unless it was an accident, he supposes.
Perhaps being surrounded by ultimate talent distorts one's perception of the realities of the average world but-- for something like that to happen, Gundam can't help but think he must not have been very good at coaching at all.]
[It's a long story that Ryuji will probably end up telling Gundam at some point or another. But making a Gundam during his time stuck at home was almost like the act of creating out of destruction. He was in a pretty place back then; depressed and unsure of himself to the point that all his dreams had been crushed in the span of a 5 minute encounter. And entire life of hope to actually make something out of himself, and then... nothing.
He had alienated every friend he had in school, and taken up a lonely existence. He guesses they weren't really his friends if they never stood up for him even when he went to bat for all their suffering under their shitty, abusive coach.
Which just means that every friend he made from here on out, he cherished in their own way. It's a snort of a chuckle when Gundam pops off about the rising sun and all that shit. Still doesn't buy it, but.]
I'd be honored to have the Dark Devas helping. Everything's better when you're in a team, huh?
[Overwhelming is definitely the right word. Ryuji's already moving towards the elevators. His room's up on floor four, after all. Not that Gundam would know that since the only room he's ever seen him leave was some immortal hamster god of Valhalla's.]
[Gundam would probably find it rather surreal to imagine Ryuji in such a sad and lonely frame of mind. He always seems so boundlessly optimistic and at ease around others.]
Kekeke...
Yes, I recall your speech referencing the impentrable strength of geometric shapes.
[The Pentagon of Pandemonium! -- With Ryuji's inclusion it's become a Hexagon of... Hell. Horrors. Havoc?
[Hexagon of Hell has a nice ring to it. Ryuji's impressed, to say the least. He smirks back at Gundam, for recalling that, and gives a little shrug.]
You, uh, ever wonder about that word? Impenetrable. Doesn't it have like, the same meaning as the word impregnable? But in order to impregnate you kinda have to pene---
[He's gone down a rabbit hole and he gets the idea real quick that gundam doesn't want to follow him into the abyss of this one, and ends up scratching the back of his head. He'll save that question for someone else.]
[The elevator arrives and with the press of a button, the doors close in front of them... allowing Ryuji's route of final escape to gently slip away.]
I deny the very basis of your assumption! There are multiple methods of reproduction that yield offspring without involving penetration.
A single individual can produce offspring asexually through multiple methods. While my work with aquatic beings is limited, Turbellarian flatworms are capable of fission. Creatures who can separate their bodies into head and tail regions then regenerate the missing half and create two new organisms. Coral are quite capable of reproduction through budding. The original organism experiences an outgrowth on part of it's body. The separation of this growth creates a new individual, smaller than it's prior host. If an entity is capable of fragmentation, and the parts are big enough, a separate individual will regrow from each part. Surely even you cannot be ignorant of the abilities of certain sea stars. A new creature can be regenerated from a broken arm and a piece of their central discs.
Of course these are all low-level entities. The true power of asexual reproduction lies in parthenogenesis, where eggs develop without being fertilized. Typically it's observed in invertebrates such as ants, wasps, and bees. However! Some vertebrate creatures are also capable of being able to reproduce through parthenogenesis. Two komodo dragons, a hammerhead shark, and a blacktop shark have all been documented as having produced parthenogenic young when the females have been isolated from males!
Even in sexual reproduction it is not a finite necessity to bring forth new life into this world. Hermaphrodites are entities that encompass both male and female reproductive systems within one entity. While they prefer to mate, they can also be capable of self fertilization.
External fertilization usually occurs in aquatic environments where both eggs and sperm are released into the water. After the sperm reaches the egg, fertilization takes place--[Please tell me you hit a floor button, Ryuji.]
[His finger was on the button all along, but then Gundam just starts going off on this pedantic rant about animal fucking? Is that what he's talking about? Ryuji stares at him, not really hearing what he's saying but more about how passionate he is about the things he's going on about, focusing in only when he hears things like "asexual" and "eggs" and suddenly Ryuji is just lost in his head for a few moments.
Actually.
It goes something like.
Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert And you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch, You want it rough, you're out of bounds I want you smothered, want you covered.]
[The door closes and it's just two dudes, in an elevator- one who just talked about reproductive qualities of whatever, and the other thinking about bad touch, 5 feet away from each other because they're not gay.]
Uhhh...
[He thinks about that for a second.
Is it worth it to explain? Probably not. It'll make him look weirder.]
You ever do one of those science experiments in class? The one with the toothpicks and the potatoes and you make 'em sprout? Definitely can reproduce.
That just gets a rise out of Ryuji. Growing potatoes gets you closer to god? He starts to laugh, and then it just spreads outward from there, straight through to his shoulders and his chest, and as he centers himself, he gives Gundam an arm around the shoulder gesture, careful to note that there are probably hamsters in his scarf.]
Dude, hash browns are pretty much, like, getting as close to godhood as it gets. [GOD WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, GUNDAM?]
And it's Waffle House, by the way. [Whether or not the experiment is beneath him, man he'd kill a guy for some golden browns right now.]
We got cooler experiments to run. [He points to his room. Right. They have highly important life altering things to do here.]
[Being able to grow anything with someone's own two hands implies a mastery over the art of creation itself!]
That's a rather generous description. [Anytime his mother prepared them they tended to be simultaneously drenched in grease and irrevocably burnt beyond the realm of recognition. Less hashbrowned and more hashblackened.
Gundam sees Ryuji's arm moving to wrap around him and quickly ducks to evade it. Then rolls out of the elevator, across the hall, and jumps up in front of Ryuji's door like he planned to do that the entire time.]
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no subject
Except when you can, and as much as he's not comfortable with the idea of being Gundam's slave (here goes that hard S inclination, again), the model is what he's here for, and seeing Gundam get excited about anything (is that excitement?) is kind of neat.
He holds out the box for him to give a good look over.]
It's one of those models that woulda cost a few ten-thousand yen back home, yeah? [And the colors on the box are awesome; chromes and yellows depict a particularly awesome looking mech.]
I love mech shit, it's great. [He looks at Gundam nervously, though, because it's a pretty childish thing to be really into.]
You uh. You wanna put it together with me?
1/2
Regardless, Gundam absolutely does look excited. The fact that such a thing is childish for two teenagers to be interested in briefly crosses his mind but--]
Maybe it is because no one has ever bought me any sort of toy before, but I think this is truly a remarkable find.
2/2
"Together." It's probably not that outlandish to believe that Gundam is not often invited to do things.]
Know this... if I show you my serious side in this endeavor, it will not end with mere child's play.
no subject
Yeah, I figured. Dude, I don't take this shi----shtuff. Stuff lightly.
[Models are SERIOUS BUSINESS, DUDE. They require a gentler touch. A type of attention to detail that Ryuji unfortunately just doesn't have. He holds it out to him and lets him take it if he wants to.
Fine, whatever, he'll work with the paradigm instead of trying to trash it down to the ground.]
Honestly, I had a lot of help from my mom the last time I built one. You wanna be the lead engineer on this project? You're probably a lot smarter than I am.
no subject
You've crafted one before?
Experience is nearly as valued as intellect in such an undertaking as this.
no subject
Yeah. It took me a few weeks, though. [And he hesitates for a moment, wondering if it matters either way when he adds...] When my track coach broke my leg, I couldn't really leave the house too much, so... I got super into building the one I had. It's probably back home, collectin' dust right now.
[He smiles, though, because this one is going to be a lot better tended to.]
If you're serious, though, my room's got a pretty big kitchen table and it's not like anyone lives there anymore. You can come by whenever.
1/2
He'd probably never have the time to devote to something like this at home.]
Fret not! With the Four Dark Devas and myself to aid you, this warrior of the rising sun shall be ready to take arms against all that oppose it forthwith.
[It's not polite, but Gundam can't help himself from briefly glancing down at the mention of a broken leg. For a moment he thinks he might not have heard Ryuji quite right. It seems unreasonably counter intuitive for a coach to break their athlete's leg? ...Unless it was an accident, he supposes.
Perhaps being surrounded by ultimate talent distorts one's perception of the realities of the average world but-- for something like that to happen, Gundam can't help but think he must not have been very good at coaching at all.]
2/2
Let our dark ritual commence and I shall show you just how immensely overwhelming I can be!
[Gundam looks at Ryuji expectantly-- because honestly he has no idea where Ryuji's room is at all. He never thought to pay attention to such a thing.]
no subject
He had alienated every friend he had in school, and taken up a lonely existence. He guesses they weren't really his friends if they never stood up for him even when he went to bat for all their suffering under their shitty, abusive coach.
Which just means that every friend he made from here on out, he cherished in their own way. It's a snort of a chuckle when Gundam pops off about the rising sun and all that shit. Still doesn't buy it, but.]
I'd be honored to have the Dark Devas helping. Everything's better when you're in a team, huh?
[Overwhelming is definitely the right word. Ryuji's already moving towards the elevators. His room's up on floor four, after all. Not that Gundam would know that since the only room he's ever seen him leave was some immortal hamster god of Valhalla's.]
no subject
Kekeke...
Yes, I recall your speech referencing the impentrable strength of geometric shapes.
[The Pentagon of Pandemonium! -- With Ryuji's inclusion it's become a Hexagon of... Hell. Horrors. Havoc?
Havoc!]
no subject
You, uh, ever wonder about that word? Impenetrable. Doesn't it have like, the same meaning as the word impregnable? But in order to impregnate you kinda have to pene---
[He's gone down a rabbit hole and he gets the idea real quick that gundam doesn't want to follow him into the abyss of this one, and ends up scratching the back of his head. He'll save that question for someone else.]
A...anyway.
[He hits the call button.]
1/2
...
[Gundam folds his arms over his chest, levying Ryuji with a stare.]
2/2
[The elevator arrives and with the press of a button, the doors close in front of them... allowing Ryuji's route of final escape to gently slip away.]
I deny the very basis of your assumption! There are multiple methods of reproduction that yield offspring without involving penetration.
A single individual can produce offspring asexually through multiple methods. While my work with aquatic beings is limited, Turbellarian flatworms are capable of fission. Creatures who can separate their bodies into head and tail regions then regenerate the missing half and create two new organisms. Coral are quite capable of reproduction through budding. The original organism experiences an outgrowth on part of it's body. The separation of this growth creates a new individual, smaller than it's prior host. If an entity is capable of fragmentation, and the parts are big enough, a separate individual will regrow from each part. Surely even you cannot be ignorant of the abilities of certain sea stars. A new creature can be regenerated from a broken arm and a piece of their central discs.
Of course these are all low-level entities. The true power of asexual reproduction lies in parthenogenesis, where eggs develop without being fertilized. Typically it's observed in invertebrates such as ants, wasps, and bees. However! Some vertebrate creatures are also capable of being able to reproduce through parthenogenesis. Two komodo dragons, a hammerhead shark, and a blacktop shark have all been documented as having produced parthenogenic young when the females have been isolated from males!
Even in sexual reproduction it is not a finite necessity to bring forth new life into this world. Hermaphrodites are entities that encompass both male and female reproductive systems within one entity. While they prefer to mate, they can also be capable of self fertilization.
External fertilization usually occurs in aquatic environments where both eggs and sperm are released into the water. After the sperm reaches the egg, fertilization takes place--[Please tell me you hit a floor button, Ryuji.]
no subject
Actually.
It goes something like.
Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me
And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel
Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert
And you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch,
You want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want you smothered, want you covered.]
Like my Waffle House hash browns.
[Wait, what?
He shakes his head and presses "4."]
...Dude.
i'm dying
--what?
[H-hash browns?]
Fried potatoes... are not sentient beings. They are incapable of any form of reproduction!
LMAO IM GLAD
Uhhh...
[He thinks about that for a second.
Is it worth it to explain? Probably not. It'll make him look weirder.]
You ever do one of those science experiments in class? The one with the toothpicks and the potatoes and you make 'em sprout? Definitely can reproduce.
[So we'll just talk about spud spunk instead.]
no subject
A potato yielding sprouts is entirely different from a cooked entity bringing forth new life into this world.
[The experiment itself sounds rather juvenile, but he's not uninterested.]
Yet I am not familiar with such a rite. Go on.
[If a class activity involved any form of partner, Gundam would bail to seek refuge in the nurse's office.
For. Uh. Their safety. Obviously.]
no subject
Nah, man, you don't cook the potato, you let it sit in a jar of water with toothpicks holding it up.
[It's not a rite, it's the only B he's ever gotten in science.
The elevator door opens, giving way to the familiar scene of a still-TP'ed hall. Is anyone ever going to fix that? Probably not.]
And then after a while, it starts growing roots and a buncha sprouts come outta it like giant beanstalks. It looks hella alien.
[Regular Mark Watney over here.]
1/2
You are the one who suggested the possibility of "hash brown fertilization" within the House of Waffles!
[You know. Outloud. Even Gundam thinks this is an absurd conversation.]
Do not try to perplex me so inadequately!
2/2
Kekeke... Potatoes. How forgiving. How amusing!
I suppose in the pursuit of mastery over life itself, one must start somewhere. However, small a step.
[Said the guy who could not get a pumpkin to grow.]
As a breeder of fearsome hell beasts such an experiment is beneath me.
no subject
attempt... to imitate... godhood.
That just gets a rise out of Ryuji. Growing potatoes gets you closer to god? He starts to laugh, and then it just spreads outward from there, straight through to his shoulders and his chest, and as he centers himself, he gives Gundam an arm around the shoulder gesture, careful to note that there are probably hamsters in his scarf.]
Dude, hash browns are pretty much, like, getting as close to godhood as it gets. [GOD WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, GUNDAM?]
And it's Waffle House, by the way. [Whether or not the experiment is beneath him, man he'd kill a guy for some golden browns right now.]
We got cooler experiments to run. [He points to his room. Right. They have highly important life altering things to do here.]
1/2
That's a rather generous description. [Anytime his mother prepared them they tended to be simultaneously drenched in grease and irrevocably burnt beyond the realm of recognition. Less hashbrowned and more hashblackened.
Of course he ate them regardless but-- blegh...]
2/2
Gundam sees Ryuji's arm moving to wrap around him and quickly ducks to evade it. Then rolls out of the elevator, across the hall, and jumps up in front of Ryuji's door like he planned to do that the entire time.]
O-onward!